How Narcissist's Victims Deceive Themselves

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

If you are married to narcissist, here's one reason to be hopeful:

There are gradations of narcissism. In my writings I refer to the extreme and ultimate form of narcissism, the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). The prognosis for those merely with narcissistic traits or a narcissistic style is far better than the healing prospects of a full-fledged narcissist.

Still: don't confuse shame with guilt.

Narcissists feel shameful when confronted with a failure. They feel (narcissistically) injured. Their omnipotence is threatened, their sense of perfection and uniqueness is questioned. They are enraged, engulfed by self-reprimand, self-loathing and internalised violent urges.

The narcissist punishes himself for failing to be God -- not for mistreating others.

The narcissist makes an effort to communicate his pain and shame in order to elicit the Narcissistic Supply he needs to restore and regulate his failing sense of self-worth. In doing so, the narcissist resorts to the human vocabulary of empathy. The narcissist will say anything to obtain Narcissistic Supply. It is a manipulative ploy -- not a confession of real emotions or an authentic description of internal dynamics.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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[womanbeing]

I find Vaknin's video's very helpful. I recognize and relate to his information. He describes my ex husband to a T!! He is describing my marriage! Vaknin thoroughly understands the pathology's. He know's what he's talking about!!!

[deepmind50]

Yep, that fit exactly what I see in my soon to be ex spouse. Thanks for tearing off my roses colored glasses and I'm starting to get my head together. Great video!

[jesekahrose]

Vaknin is my new Jesus.

[DrZuli]

Here's another 'tactic'....tell me what you think. but i think they use one "victim' to pit against another, and feed off the hate. Such as, an employer who pits two workers against each other, and sits back to feed...

[patriciacarrasco]

@DrZuli i beleive it is demon possession that lodges into some part of their personality and they are stuck. thye let it happen probably because they shut themselves off emotionally in order to avoid some trauma and now the demon will not let them go. they are still selfish children inside. i dont know if its contagious but it can corrupt someone if theyre suggestible and are always around people like this....just ask me and my brothers.

[patriciacarrasco]

@angelamwatts u should watch "narcissism cured" with steve and kim cooper who are husband and wife and have survived narcissism as a last resort...im watching them after basically giving up on my narc. mother...they have given me hope God bless

[patriciacarrasco]

i think the essential problem w/ the narcissist is that they dont feel empathy. they intellectually know what theyre doing but since they cant FEEL bad about it like a regular person would when hurting someone...then it doesnt compute. if they could feel all the pain theyre causing...i dont think they would be able to live w/ themselves

[sir8smith888]

Interesting video's although I find it bizarre that you don't mention how to cure yourself of narcissism.

fyi - Alice Miller's work is the cure

[pvolkspvolks]

This is Brilliant!!

[sexysingingcupcake]

@hopaloop Beautiful way to put it and I agree 100%

[DrZuli]

"Empty and vacant shells"....I think its some sort of demon possession, and I wonder if it is "contagious"

[MimiZ914]

@JennieIced So right on. Once we see them as they really are, EMPTY & VACANT shells of a human being. The biggest break thru I've come to is "not taking it personally," But really one thing I've learned from a Narc is this: put myself first, taking care of me first. You can't get blood from a turnip. Interesting how NARC's seems to entrap the most caring and sensitive people as their Narc Source. Always a message for the victim in this, so thank them for the enlightenment.