Half Beard

Beard meets blade
31 March 2011

So, there I was eating lunch with a colleague or two, and somehow the conversation got around to that great bushy mass that I carry around on my chin. Unshaven for around 15 months it had grown to be about the size and ferocity of a badger. While such a beard is a useful pantry for snacks for later, this one was clearly in need of a trim. It was suggested that I should probably trim half of it off. And that's where the idea came from. I would trim half of the beard off alright. The left half, to be precise, leaving the right hand side intact. So I sent out an email to my work colleagues at ARM Inc. requesting fifteen $10 pledges, saying that if I received these pledges I'd do the deed and shave the left side of my beard off. All the money was to go to the Central Texas Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, to help with the running costs of their no-kill animal shelter.

Within minutes I had over twenty pledges, and some of them were considerably over $10. I got in touch with ARM's HR team to see if there was any way I could blag some matching funds from their treasure chest. They were very excited by the idea, and threw down the gauntlet to the office: come up with another $250 worth of pledges, and ARM would match it. And over three hundred dollars were quickly pledged.

So, Thursday March 31st arrived. I had my plastic sheet to put down to catch the hair and not make a mess. I had my clippers. I had my $10 electric razor. I had my mirror. I had a videographer and a stills photographer. And an audience of about 20 people. I don't know if it's the extra strong cup of coffee I had before I started, or more likely nerves, but it was hard to keep a steady hand as I plunged into the jungle mass with the clippers. The motor whined as the blades met the stiff beard, but slowly the left side of my face was laid bare for all to see my sweet dimples.

I then whipped out the electric razor. It ran smoothly across my skin, making light work of the task. At least, it did until I remembered to take the plastic cover off of it. Then it just ground against the stubble, making next to no headway against the iron-like bristles on my cheeks and chin. At one point someone suggested I should do my head as well - I responded that if they came up with another $500 worth of pledges I would, but I didn't get any takers. I guess there's less weirdness in a bald man shaving his head. The total, after matching, is a rather generous $1165.

I've been out to a restaurant lunch with friends to celebrate a birthday. The people there were very professional and didn't pass comment at all (had they asked, I was going to say that my hand slipped while shaving). In a moment I'm going walk-about in the office to try to collect some of the funds, and to let those that pledged have a look at the final effect.

After work I went to Chuy's for dinner with my family. No-one really took any notice - obviously a case of life at its normal level of weirdness for Austin.

But this evening, in the privacy of my own home, I shall be shaving the other half off, too.

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• beard
• half
• SPCA
• shave
• humor

[TogPippin]

We're really proud of you - that's my brother! is it like shaving candy floss?

[LivingDust]

It is work to get clippers through a beard at first. They clog. Those seem pretty good though. I always wondered what you looked like under there.  You are a good looking guy!

[steveravet]

Top notch! Congratulations to Jon and the ARM Austin office!