20071008 Jeff and Joe discover a giant lava lamp

Jeff and Joe discover a giant lava lamp

October 8th, 2007 by Kevin Dayhoff

Recently while Joe and Jeff were working late one night, they stumbled upon a giant spacecraft lava lamp submerged underwater at the northeast end of town.

Of course, this discovery piqued their curiosity.

The 900,000-gallon reservoir had not been emptied in years. Jeff was at once concerned about the discovery and consulted a local historian, Kevin.

According to Kevin, in ancient Westminster folklore, a Giant Spacecraft Lava Lamp was once the focal point of an ancient Westminsterian religion of which it had always been suggested that it was based on an ancient historical fact.

That the ancestors of the Westminster area had arrived by a giant lava lamp spacecraft -- and that the spacecraft had been secreted away, somewhere near the City of Westminster.

A religion evolved over the worship of the giant lava lamp spacecraft. It has persistently been rumored to still be secretly practiced in and around the hills of Westminster.

Could Jeff and Joe have discovered the ancient lava lamp spacecraft? Well first they needed to drain the reservoir in order to investigate.

That needed to be done as confidentially as possible so as to not start a media feeding frenzy.

In this ancient religion, every residence maintained an altar, centered on a gazing ball, many of which can still be found in the area.

This gazing ball altar was used to communicate with the spirit of the Great Lava Lamp Parent who resided in the Temple of the Great Lava Lamp.

Pink Flamingoes, which are indigenous to the Westminster area, were considered to be the messenger bird of the Great Lava Lamp Parent.

Pink Flamingoes are now on the endangered species list and, where their nests - inverted tractor tires - are found; by law they cannot be disturbed.

It is hoped that further excavations will provide insight into the culture of the Carthaginians who settled Westminster after the Third Punic War.

This, of course had Joe and Jeff curious as they found no gazing ball or pink flamingoes in the area... But they were determined to investigate further...

As further details become available we will keep you informed.

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Category:

Comedy

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• Joe
• Jeff
• Giant
• Lava
• Lamp
• Kevin
• Dayhoff
• Westminster