Tom Waits Missing my son

I was in a line at a supermarket the other day, and um, you know, I had all my things on the little conveyor belt there. And uh, there's a gal in front of me that is uh, well, she's staring at me and I'm getting a little nervous and uh, she continues to stare at me. And I, uh, I keep looking the other way.

And then finally she comes over closer to me and she says, "I apologize for staring, that must have been annoying. I... You look so much like my son who died. I just can't take my eyes off you." And she proceeds to go into her purse and she pulls out a photograph of her son who died, and uh...

He looks absolutely nothing like me. In fact he's... Chinese. Uh, anyway, we chatted a little bit. And uh, she says, "I'm sorry, I have to ask you. Would you mind, as I leave the supermarket here, would you mind saying 'Goodbye mom' to me? I know it's a strange request but I haven't heard my son say 'Goodbye mom' to me in so long. It would mean so much to me to hear it. And uh, if you don't mind, I..."

And I said, "Well, you know... okay. Yeah sure. Uh, I can say that." And so, she, uh, gets her groceries all checked out. And uh, as she's going out the door, she waves at me and she hollers across the store, "Goodbye son!" And I look up and I wave and I say, "Goodbye mom!" And then she goes, and uh...

So I get my few things there on the conveyor belt and the checker checks out my things. And uh, and he gives me the total and he says, "That 'll be four hundred and seventy nine dollars". Um, and I said, "Well, how is that possible?! I've only got a little tuna fish, and uh, some skimmed milk, and uh, mustard, and a loaf of bread."

He goes, "Well, you're also paying for the groceries for your mother. She uh, told me you'd take care of the bill for her." And I said, "Well, wait a minute! That's not my mother!" And he says, "Well, I distinctly heard her say as she left the store 'Bye son!' and you said 'Bye mom!' and so what are you trying to say here?" I said, "Well, Jesus!"

And I looked out into the parking lot and she was just getting into her car. And I ran out there. And she was just closing the door, and she had a little bit of her leg sticking out of the door as she was pulling away. And I grabbed her leg and I started *pulling* it!

Just the way...

I'm pulling yours.

Ahahahahahaha!

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Tom
• Waits
• Missing
• My
• Son

[joeat963]

Hey Son, I hate to be the one to tell ya this but that joke is as old as the hills!

I`ll give it a 5***** rating though just because I like you.

I`m leaving now so pay for our checks if you will!

[RedLeftFist]

Well, thank you for information Joe xD , but next time rate just like u would, the way your fair mind thinks! And yes mom, the checks are paid!

[joeat963]

Are you kidding? When I wrote you that I was so impressed with myself that I`d forgotten to rate it. I`m just glad I came back later to correct myself.

[RedLeftFist]

Well ok, you managed it. You made your son happy.

[feraro23]

Tom Waits is The Man.

[ybrik222]

Of course Tom Waits would end a three hour album with this.

[mikvance]

WHY SO SERIOUS?

[circa2O11]

How many packs of cigarettes should I smoke a day if I want to sound like this?

[nutbolt123]

Watched a video in my Spanish class a year or so back. No joke this whole skit he just went through is 100% from that video, I was waiting for him to offer some special insight or some special way he interpreted it to make it funny but nope, exactly the same. ='(

[joeat963]

@rufia75

The Saskatchewan hills, I guess::D

[rufia75]

@joeat963 as old as which hills? I live in Saskatchewan and it's rather flat.

[magnez9]

lyk dis if u cri evry tim.

[26mistakes]

bloody fantastic :D

[66Rakoun]

@AcidOverseer When you're pulling someone's leg..you're tricking them..he wasn't serious about the story. It was all a big joke.

[supermariofan2009]

im i the only one who got scared at his laugh at the end