Taste of Torah With Rabbi Adam Kligfeld - September 10, 2011

One of the more troubling passages in the Torah is turned on its head by Ibn Ezra, the Spanish medieval commentator on the Torah. The first aliyah of Parshat Ki Tetze speaks of the ben sorer umoreh, the rebellious child, whose gluttony, drunkenness and defiance carries the harshest of penalties: public stoning.
We cringe reading the passage each year, both at the thought of such a wayward child and at thought that the Torah may actually have expected this to be carried out. Scholars disagree as to whether was ever meant as a practical standard of behavior, as opposed to an intentionally exaggerated warning against excessive rebelliousness. Either way you read the text, the child comes out poorly, whether or not he deserves the death penalty.
The rabbis of the Talmud sought to limit the circumstances in which this penalty would be meted out. Ibn Ezra offers the most interesting limitation, commenting on the description of the child as one who "does not heed." Ibn Ezra says that the child can only be charged if the parents' behavior has been exemplary, beyond reproach. Otherwise, they, as imperfect parents, have no right to bring accusations against him. Through this prism, the verses are less an admonition to youngsters about acting out, and more a challenge to parents to refine their parenting skills.
Every child is a unique soul. There is no script for any child's maturation, despite the hopes of his/her parents. And while it is true that society can rightly be wary of excessive waywardness amongst its youth, Ibn Ezra reminds us of who the adults are in the home. We should expect even more of parents than we do of children. And if we struggle with our children, we should be prepared to look into the mirror before we lash out at the child.
That is the most relevant and modern of lessons, and one which serves each of us well as we involve ourselves in the self-reflection of the month of Elul, just a few weeks before Rosh Hashanah.
Shabbat Shalom

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• VID00024