The Amputee Rap by Josh Sundquist

Please download half my for audiobook FREE: http://j.mp/JustDontFall
Twitter http://www.Twitter.com/JoshSundquist
Facebook http://www.Facebook.com/JoshSundquist...
Tumblr http://JoshSundquist.Tumblr.com/
Ampu-T-Shirts: http://JoshSundquist.Spreadshirt.com/

HOW TO BRING ME TO SPEAK IN YOUR AREA
1. Go to your college's website, or the website of a nearby college
2. Find the Director of Student Activities
3. Email him or her to suggest they hire me to speak on their campus because you and hundreds of your friends would totally attend, etc

FAQ About my book, Just Don't Fall: http://j.mp/mptir5

Hire motivational speaker Josh Sundquist: http://bit.ly/MotivationalSpeaker

Outro music by rockitpro.com

Here's what it's like to walk a mile in my shoe(s).

http://www.AmputeeRap.com

LYRICS

I got one leg
but a smile on my face
You'd be smiling too
If you had my par-king space

My leg is cut off
Way up at the hip
But I using these crutches
I run pretty quick
Using these crutches
I ghost ride the whip

When I walk by
People stare and they gawk,
I'm a handicapped hustler with a
natural pimp walk

Did you lose your leg in Iraq?
No, I lost it in a shark attack.

The real true answer
Lost my leg cancer,
But it don't stop me
I'm a one legged dancer

I can break and c-walk
And soldier boy too,
I can do the stanky leg g
How bout you?

I go hard on the dance floor
Set it on fire
Crutch tips worn down
So I'm a low rider

I was reading up on twitter
Some guy wrote a tweet
Said he can't dance
Cause he's got two left feet

Now he's my follower
Says I'm his hero
Cause when it comes to left feet
Yo I got zero.

People always trying
to hold the door
once they notice
I got less than four

A-M-P-U-T-E-E Listen up people don't feel sorry for me!
A-M-P-U-T-E-E The glass is half full I still got three!

In morning I wake up
ten seconds after you
Cause when I put my swag on
I only tie one shoe

And when I do the laundry
It totally rocks
Because unlike you
I don't hafta pair my socks

I ain't scared to fight
No not one bit
I'll just unleash
My pendulum kick

I'll swing my arm
and crack your cranium
Cause these crutches
Are made outta titanium

To borrow the expression
Give it some context
I'm a one legged man
In an ass-kicking contest

Because of modern science
I am what I am
Thanks to technology
I'm a bionic man

I don't need no grills
I think you'll agree
I got something better
It's a hydrolic knee

You proud of your bling?
Cracker what? Cracker please
This leg right here
Cost 25 g's

Rappers think they the realist
Chasing money cash hoes
I'm more real than all ya'll
And I got fake toes

Rappers deal with snitches
I deal with stitches
I spend my riches
Making customized britches
Which is
Why I look so fly

A-M-P-U-T-E-E Listen up people don't feel sorry for me!
A-M-P-U-T-E-E The glass is half full I still got three!

Here's some information
I don't know when you might need this
It's a list of pranks
You can do with a prosthesis

Hide that fake leg in
Unexpected places
Like toilets and beds
Then watch people's faces

Or hang the prosthesis
Out the drunk of your car.
And then park it beside
Your local grave yard.

A great way to add
Some fun to your life
Go out in public
Stab your leg with a knife

beat: RockItPro.com

• Category

  Comedy

[Freakhxc]

Woo DECA!!! Those 4 days were amazing :)

[falco1663]

#best4daysever

[monstersgorawr49]

You're my hero Josh! :) One more thing one more time! Right on! #Juneua,Alaska pillars!

[ToriAK Nelson]

Same here! I subscribed to him ages ago with my old account, and I just started up a new account with a friend of mine, and yeah! I saw this video again, and I looked, still no million views. This is my favorite video ever, though. ~Vickster~

[falco1663]

Um.. That's a bit obvious.. just a catchy thing to reply with. I don't actually have a Twitter or Instragram, fyi.

[paradewithanm]

Did you kick your brother? Is that matt?

[unicornslayer1000]

that seriously blew my mind (not literally, but seriously lol) 1:59 I was like holy moly what the heck! He lost his leg when he was a child! Then you ripped the "skin" off, and I was ohhhhhhhhhhhhh lolololololol

[martijndevis]

still no 1mill views.

i really wonder why...

[Saagar Gupta]

FTW

[dozerdayne]

dude you should do some public trolling with your leg like with the knife and stuff

[TopicRainbow]

Oh man, now I wish I had no left leg.

[Ahmed Noor]

Florida DCON!