I Want My Foreskin For Giftmas

Music of my book to the song I recorded to go along with it. Enjoy!

Lyrics:
The first time I went searching I looked under a rock, for that little ring of flesh belonging to my cock, but all I found were pillbugs and grubs and slugs and ants, perhaps I left my foreskin in my other pair of pants.

Sooooo to the basement I go, right to the laundry shoot I check in all my pockets for the piece to my skinflute but all I found were matches and nickles, dimes and lint, I sigh a moan of anger, "where has my foreskin went?"




Is it in Milwalkee or swimming in the sea? I miss my foreskin dearly. Where now can it be?




I ask my mom and father, "Is it locked up in the safe?" They ask me, "Why?" and I reply, "It's gone without a trace." "No," they tell me, "sadly, Son when you were born, we told the doctors 'gladly, yes have his foreskin shorn.'"




Dios mio Jesus, it's much worse than I feared. You see the worst has occurred, they had my foreskin sheared. They both told me, "I'm sorry, our son we didn't know. We shouldn't have discarded of your penis' halo!"

"You thoughtless Ignorami! How could you be so dumb? Because of your stupidity my penis head's gone numb!"




Dad told me, "take some puddy and mold it 'round the head." Mom asked if she could bake me one from ginger bread instead.

"No!," I tell them firmly with anger in my voice.




"We're sorry," said my parents, "you should have had the choice."




My stomach felt disgusted, blurred went my vision, "twasn't your decision for my circumcision."




"Well we don't know they answer. Why don't you pray to Pan or Jesus' apostles or Muhummad who's our friend."




"Why don't you go ask Santa!" came a shout not far beyond below my belt, guess who spoke? My trusted skin baton!

"You're right we clapped then shouted, "To the mall! Right now! Let's go! To see if Santa's green thumb can make foreskin regrow!" We hopped into the Auto, sped down the busy lane, high ho ho hopes that Santa's magic can bring back what's been slain.




So in the line of children we stood with hearts abeat, finally it was my turn and I knelt by Santa's feet. "Santa, Santa, Buddy! My King! My Soul! My God! Return the skin considered skin back onto my rod!"

He eyed me very kweerly. He hithered to an elf. He whispered something quietly then nodded to himself.




"What you ask is common. I know you don't feel whole. You'll get the crown that they knocked down that clung around your pole. But are you sure my Child, foreskin's your desire? Would you rather receive all the wealth of an empire?"

"No my dearest Santa, foreskin's what I want. Make it prefect fitting, not loose nor not too taut."

"Alright you silly dreamer when you wake on Giftmas morn, your foreskin will be waiting along with lots of porn. So ring your family members and tell them, 'I'll be late.' Cause all you'll do this Giftmas is sit home and masturbate."




And so on Giftmas evening, I told my penis that, 'I think you'll like our present. A permanent night cap.' And soon I wuz a dreamin of how when I wake up, I'll finally be like all the men in Brazil and Europe.

At nine on Giftmas morning, I woke up with a start and there I saw my member with that special other part! 'Hurray! I love you Santa! Hurrah you understood that all I really wanted was a snuggly penis hood!




I declare from this day forward, 'I never need another gift, cause Santa gave me a friend I can always now play with.'

So if you are a cut man and want to reconnect, next year just ask Santa for a penis turtleneck. And when you wake that morning and feel between your crotch, thank your best pal Santa that your dick's no longer batched.

Three cheers for Mr. Kringle. Ten again for our bud Nick for he's the master artist who repaired your broken prick.

www.IWantMyForeskinForGiftmas.com to share and sing along with. Ages 13+.

Giftmas is the best Holla!day there is. It holds zero regilious affiliation and is December 26th.

The illustrations for this book are paper cut outs that took about 300 xacto hobby blades and ten months to complete.

• Category

  Nonprofits & Activism

[Anton Sander]

This is Grade A, Bravo! hats off to you sir... just hilarious.

[Carl Schutt]

hey man, thanks so much! I appreciate it!

[yusuf11crazy]

can santa really do this?

[Carl Schutt]

Hey, I think that if all the "Santas" (meaning, parents) educate themselves about the issue, no males would ever have to ask.

[compassionateman]

It is your body, so it should have been your choice. Capisce Everyone?

[freedom0f5peech]

Male Glans (head): 4,000 nerve endings

Female Clitoris: 8,000 nerve endings

Male Foreskin: 20,000 nerve endings

The Male Glans:

Contains about 4,000 nerve endings, but they are pressure/pain-sensitive, not touch sensitive. These pressure/pain-sensitive nerves are called "Pacinian Corpuscles" and "Free Nerves"

Male Foreskin:

Contains about 20,000 nerve endings which are extremely touch sensitive (like the female clitoris). These touch-sensitive nerves are called "Meissner's Corpuscles"

[davidthomassoule]

no he cannot because santa does not exist... just like god

[foreskinabirthright]

their son's penis mutilated*

[foreskinabirthright]

Who can talk for babies who can't form human words at that age?

The ignorant, misinformed parents.

So I'd think that some pressure needs to be put on hospitals and other institutions to ban this practice, and disregard any will to parents to have their penis's mutilated.

[holarc]

too silly for such a serious offense and situation.

[EliteDoomer]

Ron Low is Santa Claus.

I LOVE MY TLC TUGGER!!!

[stkcarm5]

Yes we can get our foreskins back and everything we lost! For those that didn't want to be cut, foregen is working to regenerate everything lost to circumcision including the foreskin, ridged band, frenulum, and 20,000 nerve endings. Find out more info at foregen.org

[Amanda Torres]

Let me start off by saying that you did a great job on the video and song! That being said, I am only going by what you put in your song, but...I hope you have been able to forgive your parents for being misinformed or even misled.

I think that before a child is circumcised that parents should HAVE to make an informed decision. When each of my children were born, I HAD to sit in a 'breastfeeding class' before they would discharge us...even though I was a pro at it! Should b the same for circ's!

[parkwoodlounge]

absolutely brilliant. thank you!