Skating at my new rink

The first day I went there it was empty. Today they had a little crowd. It's not a bad rink - although it is really COLD!

And if you haven't heard, I'm looking for a coach ....

WANTED: Effin' Awesome Coach

Ive just moved thousands of miles away from the best coaches I ever had to be with my family whom I hate. (Yeah, it wasnt the best decision Ive ever made.) So I need an effin awesome new skating coach to help me get my life back on track! (Yeah, even though I suck at it, skating is my life.) If you think you can handle me, lets see if you meet the following criteria

Coach must:

* Be a guy (hey, Peggy Flemming had the same preference)
* Teach Freestyle
* Teach MITF
* Teach Ice Dance (see ladies, its nothing against you)
* Know what effin means
* Reward me with high-fives
* Hook my tights on my right foot before a competition or test
* Not be afraid to slam me into a wall if I need to be slammed into a wall
* Want me to achieve my goals as much as I do
* Be on time (Only my current coach is allowed to be tardy for the party yeah, my lesson is an effin party, if its not then youre not doing it right.)

Im also looking for a figures coach. FIGURES ARE MY FAVORITE!!!! (after pairs skating) Un-permed females may apply for this position.

If you meet the above qualifications and teach in the Hudson Valley please contact my secretary Jerome for a formal application at jeromemcelroy@rocketmail.com.

Category:

Sports

Tags:

• Adult
• figure
• skater
• crazy
• ice
• skating
• new
• rink
• scratch
• spin
• sit
• waltz
• jump

[DaffQuack]

Thanks Dr. La Valle!

[drlavalle]

Good luck at the new rink!