[Wonderland Is Merely A Wasteland]

"So tell me, what hurts more? Thinking you should hate him? Or knowing that you don't?" - Anonymous
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WARNING! WARNING!
There is lots of blood, wrist cutting, and suicidal implications. If you do not like this idea, are grossed out by it, etc. then I suggest leaving this video right now.
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Things have been...Rough. This video, despite it's simplicity, means a lot to me. It didn't take me long, but I still have a strong connection to it.
Strange how I took such a happy Avril Lavigne song about getting yourself back up and looking forward and changed it into...um...Suicide Central?
The song, when I first heard it, really pulled at me. I really liked it, even though it doesn't exactly go with the way I'm feeling right now, which believe me isn't positive in any such way.
Life at home is getting harder and harder. I'm sucking at school [according to my parents anyways, most people would kill to have my grades.], my mom is constantly depressed, and I'm constantly depressed. As of yesterday [March 3rd] it's been one month since I've lost the one who means the world to me...It's silly to think that about someone who hurt you so much, but I can't help the way I feel.
This video is how I feel. It's been this way for the past two days. I won't elaborate much more on the subject...You'll understand in the video.
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Yuna - Me
Tidus - Evan

Ignore Tidus in the beginning of the video during the running scenes. I couldn't get rid of him in some scenes.
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Story:
I had to run. They were going to be home any minute now, and dammit, I had to fucking do it. There was no time left. I looked behind me as I ran, just to make sure that my dog wasn't following me into the bathroom. I ran in, shut the door behind me, and let a few tears fall from my eyes.

This past month has been total shit. I've lost all sense of who I really am and how to even care about another human being. I feel like I'm dizzy all the time since my brain begins to fuzz up when I think of you. But the pain remains, and so I usually grab the bottle of pills I keep in my purse and choke them down, making me fall to the floor. Or, instead, I'll grab a knife or a pair of scissors and slice the skin that covers the veins on my wrist. I lie about what happened to them every time.

"I fell down."

You're the reason why I do this. Why I've lost my mind because I still cannot forget you and what you've done to me. How you promised to marry me and then you cheated on me behind my back while you spoke those words. You ripped my heart out and drove me insane. Not saying I wasn't before, but you brought me to a new level. I cut my wrists over and over again, all for you. I don't know what I'm doing anymore and I can't stop slicing, cutting. It's like a drug...

So what's one more little cut?

I blacked out momentarily and found myself in my driveway when I came to it again. I looked down the sloped concrete to find you there...The one who I miss, yet hate, yet love. I froze at the first sight of you, but then my relief took over and I ran towards you in pure happiness. You were back! You were home!

But I ran right through you. After collapsing to the concrete, I continued to lie there, in total confusion as to what happened. I then drug myself to my feet and turned to face you. You faced me too, and looked me straight in the eyes with that glint that was there two months ago. The glint of 'I truly love you'.

You then embraced me and I didn't fall through you. I could feel the heat that you always radiated through my clothes as you held me tight. I closed my eyes and inhaled your scent, the smell I missed so much. And I kept wondering if this was real...It all seemed way too perfect.

I was right. It was way too perfect. You walked through me, as the transparent ghost you were when I first embraced you. I watched you stride away from me, towards your car, which meant that you were truly leaving me. That I might not see you again. That you might be gone forever...Like before.

I blacked out again. But this time, I didn't wake up.
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Song: "Alice" by Avril Lavigne
Footage: Final Fantasy X/X-2, Pictures from Photobucket
Program Used: Sony Vegas Pro 8
Couple: Yuna X Tidus
POV: Yuna
Dedicated To: Ajyh Tuikmyc SlLuo.
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Hope you enjoyed!

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

• Final
• Fantasy
• X-2
• X/X-2
• Yuna
• Tidus
• LatiasTheLoveless