Promises....

A poem about loss of a relationship and broken promises by me.

Empty Promises

Despite your promise to me
I was waiting for you to walk away
For throughout my whole life
There were not many that did stay

Upon meeting you for the first time
I told you that you would abandon me
You made a promise to never give up
You said just wait and see

Now its four and a half years later
You returned my call
You said it just may be the end
I felt my heart break and my hope fall

The reasoning behind all this seems to be
That you dont know if what youre doing is right
You dont know if were going the right direction
But something came to me through my tears that night

When you made that promise
To never give up on me that day
The day I decided to trust and open up
Theres just one thing I never heard you say

I never heard stipulations
I never heard exceptions such as this
Had I heard I would have listened
I would not have held on to your promise

What I did hear that day
Was my instinct saying dont believe
Run fast and far
For this will only lead you to grieve

Here am I now
Barely holding on, everythings such a blurry mess
I cant seem to focus on anything
Im sinking in this quicksand called stress

Despite overwhelming pain
I stand here occasionally pained with anger now
How could you wait until three days of losing another support
How could you choose now, to go out with a bow?




I realize I am not always easy to handle
But in my darkest of darkest days
You have helped guide me along and learn to cope
The one who falls to her knees and prays

Now I have done this once again
Failing in my own beliefs as I do not understand
How God could promise me love and comfort
But yank away the helping hand

In all of this I have since come to believe
It is not God letting me go
For He gave us all free will and through all of my prayers
This is what He wanted me to know

You hung up that day knowing I would be a mess
Knowing my eyes were filled with tears, and my heart of sorrow
It was so hard to hang on until Tuesday
As I did not believe I would make it until tomorrow

So I coped in the only ways I knew how
I did what I thought was best
And the times I didnt
I did them to give my heart a rest

I know you will never look back
My face will disappear
My tears shed, my life story
My laugh, my fear

Abandoned I feel
Rejected
By the ones by which
I felt most protected

The underlying belief?
Well, worthless of course
I should have done a lot different
So in that failure, I am full of remorse




I had hope
Trust I had built
Now I am full of pain
But mostly guilt

I wrote this poem
I should have written a letter
But I couldnt let go of the emotions
And I could write this much better

For when I write poems
Fragments are not an issue
Unlike my life
Broken in pieces, without any glue

You held me together
On days I thought the worst had occurred
But you made me see the light
And be proud that I had endured

You helped me get through school
And so much personal loss
All of which now
I dont know whether to hold onto or toss

I am so confused
Was anything with you ever real
I have to tell you now due to all of this
I dont think its ever possible for me to heal

I knew at the time of your call
When you said my voice would be heard
That your decision would be made before
And that you never intended to keep your word

I simply or rather not simply
Being it took all I had to get here
To tell you goodbye, holding as steady as possible
As I am filled with anxiety and fear

You did what you wanted
You did what you thought was right for you
I understand
As much as you could expect me to




You are no longer responsible for me
I can expect that thats a relief
So with one last word I can close this poem
That should have been brief

Goodbye.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• poetry
• loss
• broken
• promises
• torn
• lost
• abandoned
• abandonment
• raynedrops4ever

[angeldown80]

WOW i'm lost for word's ...

[RayneDrops4Ever]

@angeldown80 I hear you:) thx

[favea]

Wow, this is wonderfully done and very touching... thank you

xoxo

[RayneDrops4Ever]

Thank you, very much. This was one of the poems I wrote that had A LOT of meaning to me as it was a goodbye to someone who had a very large role in my life. I never did let them read it but said a prayer and prepared for the worst, and today they are still in my life:-)

[StarScreamXero]

dark...

[TheILLiteratePoet]

5 stars girl...

[dashpoet]

Effective, affecting poem. Great the way you say it as it is. 5*

[WitchyErotica]

Creepy ass pix lol 5/5

[RevMudd]

"Pain is God's megaphone to a deaf world"-CS Lewis