Uploaded by raypizzi on Apr 14, 2008
The Date the Year and Time of Day.
Your ideal weight and what you really weigh.
Calories, fat grams and sodium counts,
mg-units and serving amounts.
Home phone, work phone, cell phone, pager,
fax phone, voice mail...and one to place a wager.
Social Security and the Dependents you claim.
Your Licence and Passport with those Photos of Shame.
Banking, Checking, Savings and pin,
Credit card due dates, cash flow...thin.
Stock Market Options, Dow Jones Analyzer,
Check with Your Broker or Psychic Adviser.
Zip Codes, Area Codes, Security Codes to punch in.
Flight number, Gate Number, That's MY Seat you're sitting in !
Speed Limits, Route numbers, Octane price per liter.
Calculating Precious Minutes left on the Parking Meter.
The Floor Level, the Section, the Aisle and Space...
where you parked your car without leaving a trace.
Temperature Readings, Hi's and Low's,
Seasonal Rainfall, Barometric Woes.
Pollen Counts, UV index, Bacteria in the Ocean,
After-shocks, Richter Scales Estimating Seismic Motion.
Press 1 to speak English... for Spanish press 2.
They forgot EBONICS, PIG-LATIN and Ancient HEBREW !!!
Before Day's End, I Catch Up on Scores,
Baseball, Football and Hockey encores.
The Violent Flare-ups and Kicking of Groins,
Creates a "Stirrrrr".... DEEP in my Loins. ...So...
.....I Dial 1-900 person to person...
for DESCRIPTIVE SCENES with Lot's of Cursin'
The Price is High for this Kind of Fun...
$5 a minute.....til' I'm Done.
Cheap Talk Ain't Cheap, so now I've begun...
.... Calling the Girls at 911.
When I'm Tired and I Can't Sleep,
I Shut my Eyes and Digitize Sheep.
If This Doesn't Work, I Try to Recall...
"How Many Bottles of Beer on the Wall"
I hope Your Dreams Won't Be Encumbered,
Realizing how "YOUR Days Are Numbered"
Get Your Rest.....Sleep til' Ten.....
Because Tomorrow.....
It Starts All Over AGAIN !
copyright: Ray Pizzi
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All Comments (12)
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@ddoogitz yeah this is pretty funny
vTooLegiTv 1 year ago
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We should vote Ray Pizzi as beat-poet-flute-bassoonist extraordinaire for the new millenium.
And, set his poems to music ...
jazzflutist 2 years ago
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Hahahahahahahaha... my favorite verse:
"Press 1 to speak ENGLISH, for SPANISH press 2.....They forgot EBONICS, PIG-LATIN and ANCIENT HEBREW ! Hahahahahahahahaha You've captured the essence of Americana with these intuitive words. Brilliant, ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT ! Thanks for realizing and posting this.....50,000 STARS.
seentza 3 years ago
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Brilliant!
LynFredrick 3 years ago
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LOL LOL Very claver! > D
Bassoonandsax 3 years ago
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This certainly summarizes the true meaning of "rest in peace" once our numbered days have reached finality.
dizzip227 3 years ago
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Uhhhhh, can I get your number?
nonchalantress 3 years ago
..... Which number ??? Years on Parole ? Misdemeanors ? Felonies ? Scars ? Tatoos ? Marriages ? Clever Retorts ?
raypizzi 3 years ago