Sexuality isn't sexual, or is it?

Lately I define sexuality as being something emotional rather than physical, since sex is something that can happen under all sorts of circumstances but might not reflect one's preference. Have you ever fallen in love with someone outside your preference but couldn't take it further because of the physical?

Category:

Education

Tags:

• sexuality
• sex
• emotion
• attraction
• gay
• straight
• bisexual
• bi
• homosexual
• love
• lesbian
• definition

[Ladykatana70]

A man who has had relationships with the opposite sex all his life and is pretty happy finds one day that he falls for a male friend that he wasn't thinking about being attracted to in the beginning...and the only male that he finds himself attracted to is this friend. Would he still be considered gay? I consider myself a soul searcher. I've dated and have fallen in love with men and women. I don't care what the vessel is if I'm attracted to what's on the inside. Does that make sense?

[JayBellBooks]

@Ladykatana70 Ah, the "gay for you" conundrum. I tend to be dismissive of this, but there was once a girl in my life that was the exception to the rule. Does that make me straight? I think most people, if they were honest and didn't bow to social pressure, would be more like you are.

[gothrock88]

Hey :) Again completely agree, sex is such a small part of ones life regardless of orientation. Sexuality goes so much deeper than the actual act.

to be honest yes, i have been in love with girls before, i am now, but it is such a different kind of love to the love i show towards guys. I mean isn't that what a fag hag is? A girl that you would if ya could, if ya know what i mean.

The act itself for me has to be emotional or have some kind of intrinsic value, or else i can't physically be there

[JayBellBooks]

@gothrock88 I totally get what you mean, and I've had girls where I wish I could have loved them back, but it simply wasn't there for more. To me that's a different sort of love. It's very close, but not enough to bridge the gap. I had a straight friend that felt the same way about me. Maybe being able to physically be with someone at that stage is what's needed to take the emotions to the next level. I honestly don't know.

[TheCheetahwings]

Well, I would say I used this as an excuse for me to say "Oh, Im not gay, its only sexual), but lately Ive been getting MASSIVE crushes, on a lot of celebirties, and people, So massive I usually end up buying every movie from an actor, if I get one, with all the money I can get, It is like IM actually in love.

It isnt the same with females for me, I always see them as friends, and celebirty girls, I thought I had a crush on, isnt the same, But I only have fallen in love with men as well, so idk

[JayBellBooks]

@TheCheetahwings Are you saying you feel emotionally for the female celebrities, but the physical aspect isn't there? Or is it only the male celebrities that you get crushes on?

[astrolabe1976]

i think it is emotional..when i think back to my childhood, and i can look back to friendship i had with boys were DEFINITELY crushes. before i even knew what sex was i just remember intensely liking these boys and wanting to be around them all the time...no sex involved at all

[frankysophia88]

@MidnightNeverCome Every year I meet up with a friend, who I really cannot be sure of my feelings for... They're just as confused, although they've admitted sexual attraction exists. we end up alone, I'm drawn to them... then they're stroking my hair affectionately, I can't breathe, and then we're holding hands... but it never goes further. It's like we know nothing could really happen but we care deeply for eachother, yet it feels for sure like something more than friendship. Is this similar?

[groovestarr]

I have a gf, but I've been in relationships more with men, i didnt really enjoy the sexual side of it, but i did enjoy making them feel good, so did it for them! I still however, even after coming out as a lesbian, feel physically attracted to guys. i dont have a chemical reaction with them as i do 4 women. i get the sexual and emotional feelings from being with my girlfriend, but i dont get it all for men. I have fell in love with 3 girls, but never fell in love with a guy. Society pressures!?

[PolyesterSweater]

I completely agree with you! There's a friend of mine who (for some reason) never actually says i'm gay, but instead says I "like the dick," and it bothers me so much. I don't just like anybody with a dick...there's so much more to it D:

[MidnightNeverCome]

@JayBellBooks This may confuse things a bit, but I think it's definitely "possible to love someone romantically and not want sex from them" - but maybe I mean this in a different way. My interpretation of non-sexual romantic love is: I have sexual feelings towards someone, but I don't act on them, to the point where they are so muted that they almost feel nonexistent. For instance, I sometimes feel romantically towards women, but the physical aspect is "muted" - i.e. it's still there. Confusing?

[TheCheetahwings]

@JayBellBooks male, I never have fallen for a female celeb, only males, lol :D,