The Vampire Diaries (Biting PREQUELS)

Since much of their world outside of class involves watching and dressing like vampires, students in America will be taught "what actually interests them," according to Education Secretary Miliford Munson. "This has nothing to do with budget cutbacks in engineering, I assure you. We're just trying to give students what they want." Nonetheless, the Wharton School for Song & Dance will replace its business school curriculum with Masters Degrees offered in Advanced Game Show Studies. And sports programs will expand, with new stadiums replacing antiquated math, biology, and political science buildings. "Some of these old buildings contain asbestos anyway," declared Munson in defense. "In-with-the-new means out-with-the-old, last time I checked!" When asked if she meant the Obama administration, and its promises for change, Munson replied, "this is change. Vampiric studies will be required, and we intend to fund it fully so that the America people will excel in knowledge of this critical area of instruction compared to China and India."
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