Jim Rome Show - Jim Reads My 949 USC Fan Rose Bowl Game Day Checklist

Here's the list in text:
Things to do on Rose Bowl Game day for 949 USC fan:

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1) Wake up @ 10 a.m. in dad's 2,000 square foot pool house you've sophomorically dubbed your "Lady pit."

2) Smile at girlfriend in bed next to you, that has more bad plastic than your step-dad's wallet.

3) Genuflect before Pete Carroll bust.

4) Nod grumpily at REAL dad's "favorite" mistress in kitchen who is 15 years your junior.

5) Eat breakfast while complaining to personal chef about your egg-white omlette only having four different cheeses

6) Take jasmine-scented shower after waxing pec-implanted chest.

7) Complain to real dad that you're 35 and your allowance isn't high enough.

8) Quickly hit a Wal-Mart to purchase USC car flags and stickers, hoping none of your rich friends see you in such a place.

9) Take the 110 to Coliseum, careful to avoid crack head who signals lane changes by waving a glock.

10) Walk into stadium while ignoring girlfriend's complaints about her mom's unflattering appearance on "The real housewives of Orange County."

11) Threaten flat-billed, 909 USC fan with lawsuit from daddy's lawfirm after he whistles at your girlfriend.

12) Ignore girlfriend's complaints about it being 7:00 and she is neither lit nor buzzed.

13) Hop in freshly-keyed Bentley after checking Lakers score to determine whether or not to rock the Laker car flags for the ride home instead of USC flags.

14) Mumble admiration for Menendez brothers when your real dad asks why you don't have a job.

15) Call it a day @ 2 a.m., after ignoring dad's "second-favorite" mistress who is ten years your junior.

Joel in San Clemente

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[oapartyrock]

Joel's emails are usually some of the better ones on the show. My favorite is the pec implants.

Semi-regular e-mailer Jerry In The 321

[Jmac0585]

Thanks man!

[playnin3]

I don't get Rome on my radio out here for some reason, but this youtube account is good enough. I have no idea where 949 or the OC wives show is, but this was without hyperbole, the greatest list mankind has wrought, slightly above the Bill of Rights.

[Jmac0585]

Now THAT was funny! Thanks for the positive feedback everyone!

[Jmac0585]

Thanks guys!

[dArKaPoSt1E]

dude you are up there with Stu in Manhatten, Blaze in KC, and Bryan in Syracus. Everything you send in is funny. Kepp up the good work!

[Rahnzakh]

I've never been to Cali, much less the 949, but this is incredible. Signals lane changes by waving a glock... LOL

[JHolmes17]

Rome,

Joel from San Clemente is going to hear from from my dad's lawfirm real because of that take. By the way, it was a vanillia-scented shower I took, and I do my shopping for USC geat at Target, but thanks for noticing, jerk.

Yours,

The 949 Guy who lives off of daddy's money

Jonathan in San Diego

[bri719]

this is extremely funny because a) I used to live in the 949, now live right next to the 949 (714 guy) and b) I even went to USC even though I manage not to be "USC guy"

[CantStopWontStop818]

Of coarse it's the rich alcoholic dumb mother fuckers! And of coarse it's not the 818, us vatos in the valley know what the fuck is up! GO TROJANS! BRUINS CAN EAT A DIZNICK!

[UltraPilotRays]

i'm a diehard usc fan and this is funny, a bit exaggerated as i know some diehard 949 usc fans, but there are a few lik that though. i however would be insulted to be considered that lol.

i went to the rose bowl againt in michigan in 2007. i woke up at 5AM on new years morning to avoid all the traffic coming in, drove there in a 1997 ford van... stayed at the game from start to finish. i didn't go to wal mart to pick up chips, drinks, barbecue stuff, etc., but sam's club is close enough lol.

[asiansarecute]

Haha that was great!!

[NebraskaFan77]

Clones really need to get back to doing checklists.

[Broncos88surehands]

How long does it take to think of these? I'm sorry Im not as creative or as fast of a thinker as you guys.