Doing it for Attention: Anorexia, SI, Suicide Attempts etc

Being told you're 'doing it for attention' is so dismissive and hurtful. But what if 'doing it for attention' was seen as a very valid and desperate reason??

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• anorexia
• bulimia
• eating
• disorders
• recovery
• ednos
• depression
• SI
• SH
• self
• harm
• injury
• ptsd
• suicide
• overdose
• cutting
• attention
• seeking
• neediness

[AnaGirlEmpath]

@PixieEleven:

Hey beautiful! Once again, great video! I love this! I had never thought about this in the case of "they are seeking attention because they need it and probably haven't gotten it in a long time. Many anorexics feel that their anguish is private,and their body SHOWS the pain they cannot speak about or handle in any other way. Thank you for making this. <3<3<3

P.S. -- I love your outfit! :)

[PixieEleven]

@AnaGirlEmpath Thanks love!

Yes, it's hard to not judge ourselves and others for seeking help/attention in less than optimal ways. Sometimes we just don't havethe means or skills to even know where or how to begin reaching out. You are wonderful xoxox

[MichaelPaoli]

"Doing it for attention"

Can be:

very consciously intentionally for attention

zero conscious awareness/intent on seeking attention

(desperate) cry for help / to be fixed / relieved of the pain

or most anything between or combination thereof, and can change, sometimes very rapidly

behavior reinforcing feedback loops tend to increase it, even if there's no intent or conscious awareness of it

Can also be none of those, but something that makes it *appear* to be one or more of those.

[PixieEleven]

@MichaelPaoli It makes it so complicated doesn't...You said it in those few lines much more articulately than I did in my vid. You're great Michael!

[ifounditwhen]

i really like you approach this topic with such compassion

i think i do some unhealthy behaviors for attention and that makes me hate myself.

thanks so much for this x

[PixieEleven]

@qwexas You're so right - being dismissive of some of the deeper reasons people suffer is for our self-preservation. It hurts too much, we feel too helpless, or it's too challenging to face the reality of the situation for whatever reason.

[PixieEleven]

@andycol88 It gets so confusing doesn't it - when you have a real sense you want or need to reach out for help, but don't even know how to, or have learnt the skills to. Sometime we don't know what help to ask for. I guess I just want people to try not to judge themselves too harshly for getting it a bit wrong sometimes. Remember that. xoxox

[qwexas]

@qwexas I think people really want to believe - it's in their best interest to believe - that you're only doing it for attention. I think most of us have empathy & find the suffering of others disturbing, yet we are self-serving. Helping someone through emotional problems can be difficult, time-consuming, energy-draining. So we do all we can to avoid having to care. It's easier not to care if we can dismiss you. To avoid guilt for dismissing you, we blame & ridicule you.

[qwexas]

I think invalidation is a way to get out of helping. You're only doing it for attention… so there is no reason for me to help. You're only doing it for attention, so you don't have a real serious problem, and it's 100% up to you to help yourself. To see someone suffering, and not be able or willing to help, is something most people would rather avoid; so we minimize & shift so we can excuse ourselves. If the problem is minor & only yours, it's easier for others to ignore.

[nimbon1]

Sad fact is that most people are uninteresting and not-so-pretty. Most people do something useful to fill their need to feel important, others pick some syndrome and build it into a lifestyle.

Here is a test: Don't do a video of SI, Anorexia, etc. for a month. Do not even mention these, do not discuss any topic touching these. My prediction is that you will find hard not to find anything to talk about.

You need these syndromes in your life to feel busy, otherwise you would be labeled lazy!