UNC Law Revue 2011: "Jurisdiction" song

Parody of Fiddler on the Roof's "Tradition." Part of the 2011 UNC Law Revue.

Featuring: Yasir Latifi, Nick Tosco, Robin Seelbach, Daniel Hinson, Laetitia Cheltenham, Rachel Braden, Yolanda Fair, Kira Whitacre, Jaha Avery, Brandy Barrett, Kati Buckner

Written by Yasir Latifi

Lyrics:

Speaking: Federalism. Sounds crazy, no? But here in our great country of the United States, every single state exercises its sovereignty like a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn't easy, as we lawyers know, especially with our judicial branch. You may ask, why keep this crazy system between federal courts and state courts? We keep it because America is our home. And, aside from allowing slavery and excluding women from voting, our Founding Fathers were very perceptive people. And how do we keep a balance with what kinds of cases federal courts can hear? That I can tell you in one word: jurisdiction!

CHORUS:

Jurisdiction, jurisdiction! Jurisdiction!

Jurisdiction, jurisdiction! Jurisdiction!

Speaking: Because of jurisdiction, we have kept out balance for many, many years. We also have procedural rules for everything. For instance, here in my rural town of [Hicksville] you must always come to court with your shirt on. You may ask, how did this rule start? Well, I'll tell you...I dunno. But because of our traditions, everyone knows how to behave, and what the law expects him to do...That is, until 5 justices on the Supreme Court overrule 100 years of precedent. Ah, well. Back to jurisdiction!


GRP 1:

Ask where did the cause of action first take place,

Property involved, parties do reside?

Though you could always try, to file for a transfer

Under fourteen ze-ro-four.

The Venue, the Venue! Jurisdiction.

The Venue, the Venue! Jurisdiction.



GRP 2:

Can our case be heard under diversity,

how 'bout federal question?

If not, then we need a common nucleus

of op'rative fact that is supplemental Subject-matter, subject-matter! Jurisdiction!

Subject-matter, subject-matter! Jurisdiction!



GRP 3:


At three I moved to Chapel Hill, at ten I joined some clubs,

But still I am a domicle. Of—New Jersey. (ew) We came to Florida to sign all our contracts,

But does that qualify under minimum contacts? It's the Personal, the personal! Jurisdiction!

It's the Personal, the personal! Jurisdiction!


Venue, subject-matter and personal jurisdiction. If you think that was compliacted, just waitt until we need to determine who has the BURDEN OF THE
PROOF!


[ALL]

JURISDICTION!

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• UNC
• Law
• Revue
• University
• of
• North
• Carolina
• Fiddler
• on
• the
• Roof
• Tradition
• Jurisdiction
• musical
• broadway
• live music