One Big Family Chapter Twelve (Part I)

-With Selena-

She sighed as she hung up the phone, and ran a hand through her hair, feeling as if she might tear it out. She'd been really stressed over the past few weeks, and not only because her hair salon was forced to shut down, leaving her without a job. She had been left to search for a job, take care of Charlotte and try and find a way to earn enough money to get them by, by herself. Nick's health was in a critical condition again, and he'd been in and out of the hospital lately. She was worried sick for him, praying that he would get better and come home soon, but she knew it wasn't that simple. An eating disorder was difficult to overcome just like that, but she still had no idea what had caused it.
It had been a long time ago, when all the drama had been at fever pitch, and she hadn't really began to contemplate that there might be a reason behind his sudden development of anorexia. He hadn't really shown any feeling towards it, either, almost as if he'd perceived it as inevitable. She had a feeling that he was hiding something from her, and she was desperate to find out what.
There were other things on her mind, too, like the fact that Charlotte was struggling in school. She'd become quite rebellious and Selena had attended many parent-teacher meetings to discuss possible reasons for her behaviour. She'd suggested that maybe it was the missing father-figure in her life, or the fact that when he was around, they always fought. She often wondered whether her disorder would leave an impact on Charlotte or whether Nick's would.
Nick was due to return home in only a few days, meaning in that time Selena would have to work impossibly hard to make things seem okay. If there was one thing she hated, it was the fact that they always seemed to fight. She just wanted them to have a few days to spend together, to love each other again like they had only a couple of years before, when Charlotte was still young.
The phone call from the doctor reminded her of her fear for Nick, as he had been asking her about the situation at home over the past year. She'd had to be honest, of course, and had told the doctor of her stress, and the difficulty with their daughter, and the constant fighting.
It wasn't just the fighting that bothered her; it was the way that she lost control of herself for just a little while -- she'd forget to take her pills, or she'd become so worked up that they didn't have any effect. And whilst she released her anger and her stress on her husband, he didn't retaliate once. And what she regretted most was that she always lost herself for just long enough to lash out and leave her mark on him.
She'd woken up one morning to find him poking at a huge, purple bruise under his ribs, and the next time she'd come to her senses and found him with a handprint on his left cheek. In similar circumstances, she'd found him unconscious and locked herself in her room and cried. She often worried about what kind of effect this was having on Charlotte, but she often felt too upset or too angry to take action.
Selena hated the fact that she was bi-polar. She hated that she couldn't control her emotions. But most of all, she hated hurting the ones she loved. She hadn't hurt Charlotte yet, but it always happened in her nightmares, and she thought again about therapy, or a psychiatrist, but she never had the strength to take action.
What hurt the most was that Nick just took it, like he had no other choice. He just let her hurt him, over and over again, and each time she apologised and begged for his forgiveness but told him she didn't blame him if he left, he forgave her. He had always seemed so Godly to her, like a never-dimming beam of light, only now it was beginning to bend and lose its glow.
He'd left a few weeks ago, dark circles under his eyes and bruises on his face, leaving her to spend days searching for jobs and looking after Charlotte while she worked night shifts at the local supermarket to earn what little she could. They were struggling, and it had once been her wish to call for help from her brothers-in-law, but now she saw no way out. She was in a bad place, and she needed Nick's light back in her life, and she needed to prove to him that she loved him and that she didn't mean to hurt him. She hated to think what he must have thought about her, how he must have felt towards her.
Her life had become a misery, and she sometimes reconsidered turning back to her old life, of cutting and attempting suicide, but she remembered the pain in Nick's eyes when she'd told him that she hoped she could die. There was no mistaking that even as she continued to break him, he continued to love her, and she loved him more than anything. She couldn't hurt him anymore. She hated herself. The best solution was either to stay and get help, or to leave him and pray that he had a better life without her. Selena loved him, and it was for the best.

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[spannatoolkit377]

@KevinJonasLover78 Haha :) Thank you! Lovers ya too girlie x <3

[spannatoolkit377]

@PurplePandaBear100 Thank you :)

[KevinJonasLover78]

oh my gosh:'( Poor Sel! She hurts Nick but doesn't mean too and that's hurting her inside:( Then Charlotte is becoming rebellious because of possibly the fights or Nick not being there! Goodness they have soo much stress!!D: And by the ending I can kinda predict what's going to happen...lol(: Great chapter bestie!! Lovers ya!<33

[PurplePandaBear100]

awesoime ep