Situations Vacant

Situations Vacant

Fast-Food Operative
General worker needed to under-cook burgers, urinate in the drinks machine, and represent our company with a gormless expression. Layabouts and students welcome

Shoe salesperson
Person needed to talk about feet to strangers, and risk a list of terribly nasty diseases every time a customer removes their footwear. So if you have a saggy expression and like the idea of standing around all day with your fingers in your mouth come and sell shoes, with us, you might like it!

Health inspector
Pointy-nosed do-gooder required to sniff around kitchens and toilets with a clip-board, ex-traffic wardens and council workers preferred, but anyone considered as long as you enjoy sticking your beak in and having a good dirt-snuffle. Must be of an obsessive nature and truly irritating

Bricklayer
Dopey twat needed to bang bricks together and occasionally cement into a wall, men only, as women dont look as minging showing arse-crack. Good pay, plenty of opportunities to get another job as all youll do is read the paper all day. If the title Bricklayer suggests shagging bricks then apply now, you wont be do anything of the sort but we like you already

Mini-cab driver
Banned driver wanted to stink-out and drive one of our battered cars. Would suit lazy alcoholic with greasy hair and a fag constantly on the go. General road manners not important, honking horn to avoid getting out of car acceptable, blocking exits , jumping lights and running over cyclists encouraged.

Bailiff
Twat-faced wanker required, to justify his own means, by robbing poverty-stricken losers from the shirt off their back. Must have low IQ, bad diction, low communication skills, no morals, saggy fat arse, and halitosis. Candidates who over-use the crap phrase, at the end of the day, are in with a chance, though you must also be able to master the phrase, Im just doing a job, mate,

Rock Guitarist
Longhaired waste of space required to distort his face, and drown-out our useless drummer. You must be anti-social, arrogant, and pissed out of your head.

Music created by Andy... there's a shock eh?

Filmed on a cheap camera in Seale, Aldershot and Farnborough
Hope you find this amusing

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• jobs
• career
• gardenspoon
• spoof
• comedy

[SriCassiopeia]

You are a comedy faucet!

[gardenspoon]

That's quite cool

:)

[roadbiketraveller]

Met the taxi driver once - didn't like him.

(and he didn't like me when I'd finished with him).

don't qualify for any of the sitsvac but I wondered if Andy needed a private nurse?

.x.

[gardenspoon]

I'll get Andy to read this and he can answer you himself...

:)

[Tadek59]

This was excellent and funny !

Great job Paul !

5*****

[gardenspoon]

Thanks Tadek

;)

[AnimeNewsRadio101]

:D Good Video Work :D

5/5

[haggidubious]

Really like this one. Well shot too!

[pencilcollectionpost]

I remember this sketch when it was in book form

[roadbikegarden]

don't we all darling, don't we all.x.

[pindassuff]

i proberbly need a shrink more :)

[bugsme10]

trust me..................

there is a lot of truth in this video. *******

hope this comment doesn't go away.

comments have been disappearing lately.

[alphasimaed]

HAHAHA AWSOME :D