Are You Holding Others Hostage? Try Self Awareness and Closer Observation....

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Uploaded by on Oct 23, 2009

http://HansZech.com

(406)600-3973

One of the biggest turn offs I have ever come across is being HELD HOSTAGE by the person I am talking to! The CRAZY part is a lot of the time the person does not even know they are doing it...

I have been guilty myself, usually out of an act of desperation to GET WHAT I WANT, and get it right away. Usually the outcome is not so good. I have found myself standing alone scratching my head wondering why things are not coming together...

To make this long sob story shorter:) I found through some helpful hints and some good ole' trial and error that is is in every one's best interest to SLOW DOWN and take the extra time to not only be more self aware but to be more observant of those i interact with!

The outcome is always more pleasant and effective, Pay attention to others reactions and gestures when interacting and STOP HOLDING THEM HOSTAGE!!

Self awareness and mindful actions will carry you to new and higher levels of relationships and success...

http://HansZech.com

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  • Most have heard the phrase "Alcoholics don't have relationships: Alcoholics have hostages". This relationship model is in keeping with the nonliving orientation of the Addictive System and is precisely the sort of relationship that system encourages. Look around you and judge for yourself but, I believe society has become an addict.

  • We can see ways in which our family relationships, our buisness relationships and our teacher-sudent relationship are often of the hostage captor type. In each case the "hostage" doesn't really want to be there. Because the hostages can't get what they need from that realtionship, they must look outside it. Unfortunately, until there is some recovery, any other relationship the hostage enters into is strictly limited and cannot begin to meet the hostage's personal or human needs.

  • The hostage-captor relationship model presents a bleak picture. Hostages do not want ot be with their captors. They fear for their lives. They may identify with their captors and take on some of their behaviors (just as co-dependents take on the behavior of the alcoholic), but that, too is a survival ploy and has nothing to do with intimacy or caring. The roles may shift back and forth, with each person sometimes playing hostage and sometimes playing captor, but the dynamic stays the same.

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