TOP STORIES 2009

TAKE THE POLL: http://operationitch.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/top-stories-of-2009/
Which of the following stories will most likely come to pass in 2009?
Yes- while none of these stories have actually happened yet, we here at operation itch believe in the cyclical nature of history. That, combined with the uncanny instincts of our YT subscribers brings you this list- edited from the many submissions from my (not another) top 10 news stories of 2008 video.

I want to encourage you to visit the link in the sidebar & take a the poll declaring which of the following stories will end up being a top story of 2009 & use the comments there to defend your thinking.

So, in no particular order, here are the headlines, created by my YouTube viewers, edited imperfectly by yours truly. (note: not all of these made the video, but you can still vote for them, or write in your own prediction in the poll @ the link above)


A group of American citizens, assisted by the National Guard, physically escorted Congress from their positions today, and take over their seats.

US Senate & US treasury Decide to base Currency on corn!

Youtuber Walks Brooklyn Bridge Wearing Only A Diaper

Angelina Jolie leaves Brad Pitt for Jennifer Aniston, couple shopping islands to house adoptees.

Obama Orders Tactical Nuclear Strike Destroying Iran's A-Bomb Making
Martial Law Declared.

Democratic and African American voters disappointed that President Obama is neither black nor a Democrat.

Pastor Rick Warren discovered to have a "wide stance".

Door prizes for post holiday sales will now include mace, spiked boots, and lead weights for those not heavy enough to crush a human being just by the sheer weight of their body.

China fully funds bridge reconstruction projects in the Unites States with caveat that new construction meet specs that will ensure the safety of Chinese tanks.

Obama attacks Pakistan. Nukes launched at India. Humanity has hours to live.

The American Government is stalling the AIDS-vaccine research to kill off all of Africa and take all their land and earn money on vacations.

Israel Nukes Iran

All citizens required to receive V-Chip.

Sarah Palin returned unopened. China demands refund.

The American People Finally Capture Enough Votes to Pass the National Initiative

President Obama dresses up in sexy outfit and becomes the New World Orders' Bitch.

Israel is NOT one of the states of the United States!


Fox News Anchorettes Release New Makeup Line Guaranteed to Create Step-ford Wife Thought Processes.


President Barack Obama Assassinated before a meeting with Iranian President.

Top CEO's pleased with Obama's performance in first year

Special Prosecutor Indicts President Cheney for War Crimes ... Bush Next?

California Secedes; Declares Peace with Iran; Exiles Pelosi!

Chinese UN troops fight protesters in Madison, Wisconsin after the protest is deemed illegal by Homeland Security.


War on Terror OVER! Economy back on track! Universal Healthcare for all! Elvis returns from Alien captivity


UN Disbands in Disgrace

Largest war-fleet ever assembled off the Somalia coast, in the Indian ocean.

Category:

News & Politics

Tags:

• top stories 2009
• top news stories of 2009
• barack obama
• india
• pakistan
• nuclear weapons
• iran

[t4705mb6]

U.S. CONCERNS for 2009: Whose exposed nipple at Super Bowl half time? Will Laura Bush join Sarah Palin on THE VIEW panel? How much will the new 96" TVs cost? Is MickyDs human flesh sandwich as good as a regular Big Mac? Why is my cell phone bill $600? Why am I being forced to take this vaccine? Why does our president live in Dubai? Why are there tanks on my street? Why won't my neighbors share THEIR food? Why is vodka $2 a gallon? Why is bread $2 a slice? Why am I shot? Where AM I?

[ClareHolzer]

Israel nukes Iran was mine :p

[BrittPhillips]

For many times are tough. If you need to make some cash now here's how you can do it every time...

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[MusiCureSanity]

ｐｏｐＬｅａｓｅ

[MusiCureSanity]

i rather liked this1davis

〠 ｅＬｉ 〠

[CalJennings]

I would have chosen the Pitt/Jolie story as the top story, but that wasn't in the options in the poll. That would be more likely to be the top headline.

[CalJennings]

I think it will be:

"Door prizes for post holiday sales will now include mace, spiked boots, and lead weights for those not heavy enough to crush a human being just by the sheer weight of their body."

Why? Because it seems obvious that most of the people could care less about the rest of the other headlines listed.

[notscooter952]

That's some first rate sensationalist fear mongering right thurrr.

[StratusBlue]

Very funny!

I chose the one where honest citizens remove Congress (who are certainly a bunch of treasonous whores)

[jfree1998]

You forgot one Dave,

'Amajinadad diagnosed as schyzophrenic'

MSNBC finally changes name to Democratic spin network.

[jfree1998]

Gee are you a democrat? lol, funny list.

[goldmakers]

Oh Davis! your too funny sometimes? I got 1 for you. Nuke-emp over the world destroys all bank records. New Bail out for Americans;800Billion if you take the Mark. Got Food?