To My Dear Family
Life happens way too fast. Years go by, you meet love and pain, people that will make you happy and people that will make you sad. Holidays come and go; at first you'll be sitting on Santa's lap as a kid, then you'll find out that old man you waited all year for is just your grandfather who has lunch with you every Sunday. Later on, you'll be putting your kids on your father's lap and smiling like an idiot at their happiness over something so little. A few years later and kids will be put on your lap as well.
As you get older you also learn to say good bye. You spend your whole life working on making friends, starting a family, growing relationships of all kinds but when you reach more advanced ages, life forces you to slowly say good bye to all them. And believe me, at some point you just don't want to be the last one on the line. To be left behind. To be left alone.
Some people go through life without knowing the real love between a man and a woman. I can't say people go through life not knowing love, because that's not the only kind of love and you'll be getting some of one kind at some point. But when you really love someone, when you live a whole life together, even that person's worst defects will make you beg for them once that person is not around.
Oh God, what wouldn't I give to hear her laugh? What wouldn't I do to see her smile? To smell her food? I'd give my life to hear her complain about how much I'd snored the past night. I'd give my soul to see her hug one of our grandkids and say how much they're important to her, to say how bad she loved every single one of them. I remember how she would say grandkids are kids with sugar covering...
Every New Year's Eve she would kiss me and say "I don't know if I'll be here with you next year, but I love you a lot and I thank God everyday for having you with me for all these years." How I miss every stupid little thing like that she used to say... How I didn't want it to be true...
As I watched the scene around me, my heart was smashed. The big dinner, my sons and daughters around the table with their husbands and wives. My grandkids talking and laughing, some even had brought their dates already... They grow so fast... On that moment I realized how bad I missed her. How New Year's Eve just wasn't the same without her. How life wasn't the same without her. It just wasn't as beautiful, as warm or as shiny. It was... dead. Even if it was just happiness around me, all I could feel was this heavy black cape pressing my shoulders down. Maybe that's what they call mourning...
I guess the tears slipped out of my eyes because I saw Emma, my most caring daughter-in-law knee beside my chair and wipe them away then rub my shoulders.
-Are you okay, Daddy? -- She asked with a concerned face on. They all knew I was suffering a lot.
I couldn't hold myself. I closed my eyes and silently let the tears go down, no one on the room but Emma noticed. My Demi would have noticed. She always did, even before I started to actually cry, she knew something was wrong with me. Gently she hugged me and caressed my hair. She had lost her parents at a young age and told me countless times I was just like a father to her, and I made no difference between her and one of my daughters.
-Oh sweetie... -I said in a faint whisper in between tears -- I miss her so bad... It hurts so much...
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Ciara - Soul Food Scene (from Mama I Want To Sing)by iWurk14,172 views
this is beautiful , have tears in my eyes.
TheNemiforever 1 year ago
Oh My God, this is so sad. ;/
I'm crying so much, right now. </3
But as always, this is very well written.
Your skills are awesome. ;)
Shukalice 1 year ago