Meet the Snipers - With SCRIPT FROM TF2Wiki

all the content in this video is copyright of valve (not EA!) and the script is from TF2Wiki (great site, go check it out sometimes).

[A lone RV is driving down a desert road. Camera cuts to the dash, where a bobblehead of the former Civilian sits. A hand comes from offscreen and flicks the head]

Sniper: "Boom, headshot."

["Meet the Sniper" text appears. Cuts to the Sniper driving his RV as 60's action music plays in the background]

Sniper: "Snipin's a good job, mate! It's challengin' work, out of doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry-"

[Cuts to a shot of the Sniper brushing his teeth. There are three photographs on the right of his mirror of a BLU Engineer, Heavy, and Scout - the Engineer and the Scout are crossed off, but the Heavy is not]

Sniper "-'cause at the end of the day, long as there's two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead."

[Scene cuts to view inside the Sniper's scope. The Sniper headshots the Heavy from the previous scene, and the bullet shatters the bottle of the Demoman behind him, causing a shard of glass to embed itself in his remaining eye. The Demoman flails around, takes out his grenade launcher, fires pipebombs wildly in the air and falls over a ledge, with his stray grenades igniting a cluster of explosive barrels below and causing a chain explosion]

Sniper: "Ooh."

[Cuts to the Sniper talking on a pay phone]

Sniper: "Dad? dad, I'm a- Ye- Not a "crazed gunman", dad, I'm an assassin!... Well, the difference bein' one is a job and the other's mental sickness!"

[Back to Sniper in the RV]

Sniper: "I'll be honest with ya: my parents do not care for it."

[Cuts to Sniper climbing a tall tower. The Sniper now is waiting at the top of the tower for a shot]

Sniper: [Looking into the distance] "I think his mate saw me."

[A bullet ricochets off the ledge under the Sniper]

Sniper: "Yes, yes he did!"

[The Sniper takes cover as return fire richochets off the tower]

[Cuts to a time-lapse image of the Sniper waiting for a shot. Several jars of urine fill up to his side, as the Sniper drinks coffee and waits. As the sun starts to set, the Sniper smiles and finally takes his shot]

[The Sniper stabs a Spy through the chest with his Kukri on Goldrush Stage 3, then slides him off the knife with a satisfied expression]

Sniper: "Feelins'? Look mate, you know who has a lot of feelings?"

[Cut back to the RV]

Sniper: "Blokes what bludgeon their wife to death with a golf trophy! Professionals have standards."

[Sniper takes off his hat and puts it on his chest, standing over the dead Spy]

Sniper: "Be polite."

[Sniper headshots a Medic, a Soldier, and a Pyro]

Sniper: "Be efficient."

[Slow-motion shot of the Sniper reloading his rifle]

Sniper: "Have a plan to kill everyone you meet."

[The Sniper fires directly at the camera. The screen blacks out]

[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays]

[Cut back to the payphone]

Sniper: "Dad.... Dad p-, yeah - put Mum on the phone!"

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

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• documentary
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• nintendo
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[Mindless2164]

Thanks for the script, I`ve always thought he said "I`ll guarantee you`ll not go angry."

[M30W3R]

No prob. Be sure to check out my thoughts about the Sniper updates...

[Tasmgasm]

skilled in the ways of JARATE!

yeah... sniper update is next :3

[M30W3R]

to make it clear to you, the next update is NOT Sniper's. The guys at valve said they're focusing on xbox 360 and "notable changes in gameplay"

(if you ask me I'd say a new gamemode and some nerfes to pyro's afterburn) and THEN there's the update. Also no Jarate ;__;

[pwn3d5333]

wth, is edited may i ask???!

[M30W3R]

what?

[YouLoseAndIWin]

did anyone notice that the sniper's bobble head is the civilian from tfc? EASTER EGG :D

[cod4fan21]

OH YA JARATE IS NO JOKE

[Zuzuska6467]

lol i laughed hard at the demoman xD

[xXiammurlockXx]

@M30W3R i always though it was not go angry, cause its "challenging work" "out of doors" hes basicly saying hes not cooped up inside, and hes got something to practice, and "not go angry" usually means going insane... going hungry just makes no sence...

[daijimin]

Be polite by throwing jars and jars of piss at enemies

[Sammichez1]

@xDPOTTIxD Yeah, but SOMEONE'S gotta get rid of the evidence, and if you have a plan to kill someone and they turn out to be a spy... then you have a plan to kill that spy.

[Sammichez1]

@RedDawnJensen Mate=Friend

Out of doors= Outside

[MrBlank88]

@RedDawnJensen i AM australian... and this is a... eh... fair portrayal.... plus 'his mate' = his friend, ya dumb idiot

[SpyTF2Medic]

@RedDawnJensen Okay, explain to me what the hell "Lotta Doors" mean.

[xDPOTTIxD]

One thing i never understood was the "Kill every one you meet!"

Didn't he say he's NO crazed gunman?