TEDxHampshireCollege - Jim Ferrell - Resolving the Heart of Conflict

James Ferrell is a managing partner and founding partner of The Arbinger Institute. He is the author or coauthor of several bestselling books, including Arbinger's international bestsellers, Leadership & Self-Deception and The Anatomy of Peace.

In this talk, Jim discusses the heart of conflict and suggests that our hearts have come to find advantage in conflict.

http://www.hampshire.edu/

Category:

Education

Tags:

• United States
• English
• TEDxHampshireCollege
• Hampshire College
• TEDx
• James Ferrell
• Conflict Resolution
• arbinger
• Education
• Business
• Global Issues
• social change
• peace
• Community
• Self-deception
• psychology
• arbinger institute
• personal growth
• personal
• development
• self-help

[LaredoLenny]

This is a tool for the self righteous to use. You know 99% of Psychology is just common sense. Perhaps if this video was more about being an active listener rather than solution orientated more people would be able to communicate. Sorry to say, I've heard it all b-4 in my lifetime. And have used similar techniques only to find people with closed minds or deaf ears.

[SpeakMichelle]

I totally agree. Some of us WANT drama. Some of us THRIVE on drama. It fuels our conversations and our energies. The other thing we want is to be RIGHT. And we sacrifice relationships for it. Hopefully, by watching this we can help people see that we're all just trying to do the very best we can. We can give people the benefit of the doubt, and EVEN better, we can stop blaming others or even choosing to take offense. May we all stop trying to see what we want to see and see what IS.

[robinreed100]

Living in a world where principles of truth govern our lives wether we except it or not, it's important to be reminded of how truth gets away from us. Mr. Ferrell has an eloquent way of reminding us of things that we all once knew. When we justify away the truth, the lies we tell ourselves become our new truth, however the consequences remain the same. Resolving the heart of conflict means that we get back to living according to whats real and not our made up reality. We stop lying to ourselves.

[inframind]

Wow this makes so much sense! And the sad thing is, that we are TRAINED in school and in business and in the media to view people as objects to be used. Why? Because this is a world that loves money--a world where money is to be loved and people are to be used. But we have the power to change that world view by making the choice for ourselves that PEOPLE are to be loved and MONEY is to be used.

[sherrihayter]

Given that the presentation is only 20 minutes in length, Mr. Ferrell has really just begun to scratch the surface of what Arbinger is all about. I would highly recommend reading their trade books, Leadership & Self-Deception and The Anatomy of Peace. They really are life changing books in the most unexpected of ways (and in the most hopeful of ways).

[baschu101]

@empzurg Good questions. A question for me is then - when I am deciding on "Bigger Issues", what is really important?

And WHO is deciding? Based on what view of the others in the issues (person or object)?

It would seem that all our decisions impact other people. So my take on what Mr. Ferrell is saying is that how I see these other people makes all the difference. If I see the "rich" as "Objects - or vehicles to gain more taxes"... not sure how effective my campaigning is going to be...

[Lindaleeeee]

Reality is that people ARE robots, running around, making noises and pretending to be free (as written in program ego/me/666/45-fu : " who i am is free"), while counting down the time left to their imagined expiration date. Within this context everything is BS.

What is this BS??? I am not a machine!! I am FREE!!

Who said that?

[mvschooten]

no comment needed, just watch and learn

[empzurg]

Thanks to those who responded to my comments.

The problem with Mr. Ferrell's "advice" is it basically boils down to "love thy neighbor as you love yourself".

That's little bit of wisdom has been around for 2000+ years. Maybe in office politics, it's a wise thing to remind oneself.

But on bigger issues like "Should the rich pay more in taxes?" or "Should we bomb Libya to help the rebels?", it quickly becomes useless.

Sorry, that's the real world.

[Sladeventures]

This is great stuff - life-changing stuff. To the fellow that mentions "how many Ghandis and Mandelas got crushed by the boot...", the fact remains: no matter how many may have been shut down or shut out by history, Ghandi and Nelson M. were NOT, and that made all the difference in their lives and many lives.