BILL ENGVALL - Here's Your Sign

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• Category

  Comedy

[killer92173]

Back in Middle School, my mom just bought a new car, and drove me to school with it. One of my friends got up to me, and said "Your mom bought a new car?" I go, "Nope, she bought new tires. The car came with it." Here's your sign.

[syngar99]

actually idiot maybe he wanted top know if you were shitting and whether you would be a long time.

heres YOUR sign

[Jeff Schmidt]

Even though I love Bill Engvall and think he's very funny, I have to say - mostly when people make an obvservation as a question, they're just trying to provide you an opportunity to expand on it - asking, "Did you shoot that elk on the wall?" is an invitation for you to tell them about your hunting trip - or maybe it was your fathers who shot it 30 years ago and handed it down to you. You can't really infer much about an elk on the wall, or a man stumbling along, other than the most obvious.

[gavin jones]

I wake up on Monday, my mom asks if I had good sleep... I said what do you think?

Here's your sign

[metalwarrior1990]

I was on vacation in the Dominican Republic last summer, and I was in my hotel room watching a show on the Comedy Channel. On the show, there was a segment called Stupid Questions. In the segment, a kid walks up to an aquarium, and there's an octopus in there. The kid asks the security guard "Is that an octopus?". The security guard says "Nope, it's a balloon with snakes."

I immediately busted out "HEEEEEERE'S YOUR SIGN!"

[Natasha Lutz]

I love him. He's so funny. I just can't believe the guy WALKED AWAY!! Haha

[Aly Catniss]

He walked away O.o!

[Shawn7687]

So this kid was waiting in an Alabama airport today, praying for God to make his plane on schedule.

God said: "Here's your sign."

[12Krys]

Something to remind you how sometimes we are so silly ~ In Loving Memory of My Dear Friend & Former Co-Worker Ellen (Smitty) Smith. It's old but still funny ~ enjoy~

[dstebbin]

I'm actually the VICTIM of one of these. I heard some noise outside, so I stuck my head outside. There was a squad car, a couple police officers, and a guy in handcuffs sitting on the sidewalk. I asked one of the cops "Ya arrestin' somebody?'

And god bless this officer, without missing a beat, he said "Nope. Kinky gay bondage. Heeeere's your sign." I was laughing on the floor.

[Smokindeere96]

Got one too my grandma has a 52,000 buck piano and the painter said is that your piano said nope just out coffee table with buck teeth.

[Garrett Cummings]

We were having our Yard Sale last summer, and a customer came up and said, "Our you having a yard sale?, and I said, "No we're a bunch of rednecks out in this neck of the woods",...here's your sign!