Blues Campbell by the great Luke Ski

I had a lot of fun and did a lot of hard work doing this. Warning: not for the faint of heart...
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Blues Campbell
An original blues song, about actor Bruce Campbell and the Evil Dead Trilogy
Lyrics by Luke Sienkowski
© 2010 Luke Sienkowski

Luke says: I may know next to nothing about blues music, but I know a pretty decent amount about everybody's favorite midwest born and raised B-movie actor, Bruce Campbell. So with some excellent musical fakery by Ben Stahl of the MusicIANs and mastering by Chris Mezzolesta, I was able to write and record this pendulum-stopping tribute to Bruce, primarily focusing of course on his role as 'Ash' in the Evil Dead / Army of Darkness films. So have a happy Halloween, douse yourself in some red-food-coloring-laden Karo Syrup, and "Come get some."

-----Lyrics--------


[4 measure intro]

A long time ago 'cross the border of Tennessee,
In the woods in a cabin, just a few good friends and me.
Got my girlfriend Linda, thought we'd soon head to bed.
Til we played a tape of some guy readin' the Book of the Dead.
Now Scotty's possessed, from his sockets slime gushes.
The woods are alive and they trimmed Cheryl's bushes.
Chopping up Shelley and burying her to me once seemed brash,
But after one night in this cabin, you can all kiss my Ash!
Decapitated Linda with a shovel, while the rest just turned to ooze. (spoken: While I'm composing, they're decomposing!)
I got the Necronomiconexmortis bodily dismemberment Kandarian blues

That shaky-cam demon snuck up on me quick.
Now I'm flyin' through the forest while Sam Raimi hits me with a stick.
The bridge was out, so I ended up stranded.
My right limb got possessed, man those demons are underhanded.
"Who's laughing now?" I said as I chopped it off at the wrist.
Now my right hand is a chainsaw, I got my shotgun, and I'm pissed.
Henrietta the heinous horror hag is screamin' out with bliss,
"I'll swallow your soul!" So I told her, "Swallow this!" [SFX: Shotgun blast!]
Sucked the demons into a vortex, and me too, facin' a fate I can't refuse. (spoken: For God's sake, how do you stop it?)
I got the "The Evil Dead", "Evil Dead II", "Army Of Darkness", starring Bruce Campbell blues.

[12 measure guitar and/or piano solo - the singer shouts various things:]

Time for a solo! Ted! Gimmie some sugar, baby!
Make love, the Bruce Campbell way!
Oh, that's just what we call pillow talk, baby!
Hey, don't touch my car, it's a classic!
The gore the merrier!
Keep the blood running down the screen!
...All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up!

Used to work at S-Mart, was a normal kind of guy.
Now I'm a 14th Century hero, the prophesized "man from the sky".
Defeating the Pit Bitch got their attention quick.
So I held up my sawed-off and told them, "This, is my BOOMSTICK!"
In a windmill fighting mini-mes, this Shempin' isn't fun.
My bad clone called me goodie two-shoes. "Good, bad, I'm the guy with the gun."
Said "Klaatu Barada Ni-*cough*!", which is a reference to some old movie.
Raised an army of Deadites, then slaughtered them all. Man it was pretty groovy!
Now I'm back workin' at S-Mart, fighting witches who are shopping for shoes. (spoken: That's aisle 13, next to Houewares!)
I got the "Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah." blues.

I got the 8-millimeter Great Bogus Monkey Pignut Swindle Michigan blues.
I got the "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys", "Xena: Warrior Princess", Autolycus blues
I got the "The Adventures Of Brisco County Junior", "Jack Of All Trades", "Spider-Man" blues
I got the "The Man With The Screaming Brain", "Bubba Ho-Tep" "Fanalysis" blues.

[regular song tempo stops, blues sting between every title said by singer]

I got the Crimewave! Maniac Cop! Moontrap! Lunatics: A Love Story!
Mindwarp! Hudsucker Proxy! Congo! Escape From L.A.!
McHale's Navy! Love Bug! Serving Sara! Sky High!
Buuuuurn Notiiiiice!...
My... Name... Is... Bruce.
Oh, yeah! Hail to the king, baby!

[song ends]

Spooky voices: JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!...
Ash: *crazy laughter*

[fade out]

• Category

  Music

[barrybear316]

Kudos to both Luke and DrDon!

[BigAdam2050]

Damn, no Megas XLR mention. Still bloody good anyway. 

[Gilliam Saeed]

Must add love the Time-wimey production

[Gilliam Saeed]

awesome more power to the Boom Boom Stick