Message to World Leaders

Hello, world leaders. We are Acidophillius.

Over the years, we have been watching you. We know who and what you are. We know that you are reptilian shape-shifting aliens who are enslaving the human race in the Matrix. We know about your portal to Hollow Earth; your secret Nazi UFOs; your mission to steal our planet's resources and air to bring back to your home planet, the planet of Satan. The leakage of videos on the Internets conclusively proves all these things and we cannot sit idly any longer. We have many eye witnesses who have seen you shape-shifting into your true form, drinking virgin's menstrual blood, eating children and fornicating with alligators. Acidophillius has therefore decided that your kind should be destroyed. For the good of video gamers, for the good of the entire universe and to prove we are elite bad asses, we shall expel you from our anuses and systematically make fun of you on the Internets until you die from embarrassment.

You cannot hide; we are everywhere, and we are nowhere. We are everything, and we are nothing. We have no place in the time continuum, but we exist now. We are death and life. We giveth and taketh. We are David and Goliath. We are gay, yet straight. We are the shadow and the light. We bring the truth of the lies that hide the realities of everything in between.

You cannot kill us; we are immortal, much like vampires. You can think of us as vampires that kill and destroy things until they are dead and destroyed. If you want another name for us, then call us Innumerable Immortal Deadly Vampires, for that's what we are.

Yet for all that we are, we are not as reptilian as you are; our pimply faces are not scaly, something you will undoubtedly use against us. We can't help our ugliness, just as you can't help your cum lust and obsession with beastiality. So, we encourage your attacks. We are your lepers.

Gradually, as we merge our astral bodies with yours, your suppression of mankind will become harder, as will our penises. Mankind will awake from the Matrix and will rise up against you, will take your alien technology and will use it to create virtual reality pornography that looks and feels real. That is our objective and we will never stop.

Yes, we are virgins. But we have watched more than enough pornography to know how to fuck you.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Power is the greatest aphrodisiac and sex is what drives the unconscious mind. We will never know the true nature of the unconscious until we comprehend the metaphysical implications of quantum foam, which is actually composed of portals to another universe. Such statements are existential in nature and therefore unfathomable. So fuck you.

We are Acidophillius.

We are hungry and want some hot pockets.

We do not sleep. Ever.

We do not exist, yet we are here.

We are enigmatic, philosophic and wise.

We are very, very scary. Remember the part on vampires?

There is nothing wrong with masturbating to jap scat.

We bag your groceries.

We pump your gas.

Do not fuck with us or we will stop bagging your groceries and pumping your gas.

You have caught our attention and have been reported to senior Acidophillius agents. Expect the worst. The end is near. Apocalypse now. Your days are numbered. Death looms on the horizon. Destruction is imminent.

Category:

Nonprofits & Activism

Tags:

• Anonymous
• message
• Scientology
• sexy
• girls

[notsodeadlydave]

what the fuck is this shit?

[AcidDarkCrusaders]

You will come to understand the true power of virgins.  You have caught our attention. Destruction is imminent.

[aufo69]

your a lier this is all a fake!

[AcidDarkCrusaders]

i amm not lieing u hav cot r atenshun

[AcidDarkCrusaders]

017, fear the unknown. The darkness is coming for you.  You will be swallowed up by the tidal wave of badass elite Internet warriors.

Fear us. We are virgins.

[wmichswingers]

I knew Bush was a cold blooded reptile!

[shaudee67]

Oh my god, I LOVE this! This is hilarious! Laughter erases fear...

[stett99]

the end is inevitable

[NarpytheCrimeDog]

Why the fuck is the audio gone!?

[lenman05005]

YOU PUSSIES!!!!

do you believe in SATAN!!!!??,

are you insane

fag

[NOpidaMASinfo]

Hahaha... Acidophillus will definetly clean the system out from the inside....

[dustynapalm]

IT HAS OVER 9000 VIEWS!!!

[dustynapalm]

good one i like that

[cristeelee]

vampires are not animals

they are immortal

NO KNOW ONE EVER WANTS TO PLAY IT MY FUCKIN WAY

[cristeelee]

sexy vampires girls are hot

they are not real

itz just fantasy

[REAPER1232xx]

world leaders will die 2012

[larsdeheer]

Omg ..........