Because they got high...

I can't remain silent on this any longer.

Try to take this constructively.

Filming issues:

The film quality is obviously poor, and the sound is almost inaudible. I had to crank the volume on my computer up to max to hear anything. Allisan is always well lit, but Sidley and Ryan appear to be camped out at the back of a particularly dingy porno theatre for all you can see of them. Theoretically, these problems should be the easiest to fix. With better equipment/more experience, you could overcome these issues in a matter of one or two episodes if you set your minds to it. I get the impression that there were a lot of good enough takes, and if that is the case then it is a sign of more serious problems. If you want to create something worth watching, good enough is never actually good enough. Every shot needs to be filmed properly, or it just looks shoddy.

Dialogue:

The writing is bad. Painfully bad. Perhaps someone should read the lines aloud first before you film them. No one on earth talks the way that the characters in this pilot do. The phrasing just comes across as extremely unnatural. Also, 'Rapstar Galactica?' How in the world did that line ever seem like a good idea? It doesn't work on any level. If you wanted to include a line like this, why not use the name of a movie that might at least tell us something about the characters. If Ryan and Sidley turned to each other and exclaimed 'Julie and Julia!' for example, that might actually suggest that there is some amusing depth to the characters beyond being stereotypical stoners, and could open up some potential humour later on.

Characters:

The above leads me into what is likely the hardest flaw to correct in any upcoming scripts you may have on the go. Your characters are inane stereotypes. They have absolutely no depth. Ryan and Sidley seem to exist primarily to turn to one another every thirty seconds and utter the equivalent of 'whoaaaaaaaa!' (in early 90s stoner voices, of course.) I have met Mr. Cogswell, and I know for a fact that this is a waste of his acting talents. The script is littered with lazy pothead stereotypes that were done better decades ago. It is impossible to root for anyone the characters are too dull. It seems that most of you people originated in The Lot. That film had characters that were reprehensible human beings, but who were so awful that they were funny. In addition, each character in the Lot had a unique identity. I got the impression watching this that the gang was 'perfect Allisan' and four interchangeable, functionally retarded stoners. You are not going to win many fans with a Mary Sue and four stoned mannequins.


Intent:

I get the impression that this whole project is nothing but a poorly conceived screw you to Mr. Sidhu and Mr. Lindsay. This is stupid in ways that I cannot even express. Do you mean to tell me that you hope to create a popular web-based series around a feud that perhaps five people really care about? The title of your project is 'The Loft' -- the logo is simply The Lot with a painted-on "F" -- yet the series seems like it has absolutely nothing to do with a loft. If you are serious about anything besides attracting disenchanted Harsh Knuckle personnel, you would have jumped on one of the many more obvious puns on the whole Girl Guide cookie angle -- 'Baked Goods' comes to mind after roughly one second of pondering the matter.

The other thing that puzzles me is the logic behind the scheme, and how it applies to whatever issues you have with Harsh Knuckle. I mean, the plan appears to be that they will film a movie starring local actors, then make a killing off the ticket sales. The major hole I see in this scheme has to do with the fact that it would cost them a considerable chunk of money to rent the theatre a problem that I'm sure the real life filmmakers faced. Yeah, they'd probably come out ahead after one or two screenings, but anything beyond that would diminish the crowds and likely end up losing them money. If they are relying mainly on duped actors, and not on outside interest, then they probably wouldnt even make money off of the first show.

Also, just out of curiosity, if charging the actors and their friends for their tickets is supposed to be a thinly veiled criticism of The Lot, then what is the alternative? Let everyone in for free and take a hit of hundreds and hundreds of dollars in theatre rental costs? I've heard that whatever revenue was generated by the film would be put back into future projects, which would in turn give the actors more chances to appear on screen, so are there any grounds at all for the criticisms that The Loft tries to make?

Again, this was meant as constructive criticism.

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

• Loft

[FlexibleStraw]

Also, for the record, please lay off the constant Facebook messages. I logged on today to find my inbox flooded with duplicate messages informing me that the new TRAILER was online. Not the episode, the TRAILER. Honestly, that is what drove me to get this off my chest.

[mohammadbanibaker]

I hate when nothing gets done because Afro-man got high >:(

[frank13fernandez]

yo first!!