Love That Lets Go Chapt. 31 {Old Habits}

Candy's P.O.V:
I sit on the couch next to Selena. Dani and Katie come in. Katie's holding candy and Dani's holding a huge bowl of popcorn. They set them down and slip in a movie. Katie sits next to me and Dani sits next to Selena. The Princess Diaries comes on. I roll my eyes and lean back.

Dani: You love this movie.
-It's whatever.

She sighs. Katie leans back and puts her arm around me. I rest my head on her shoulder. Selena grabs the bowl of popcorn and takes a handful. She holds it out. Katie takes some but I don't.

-No thanks.
Selena: You love popcorn.
-Not when I'm on a diet.
Dani: You're back on that now?
-Yeah.
Dani: Since when?
-A few weeks now.
Dani: You're monitoring it healthily right?

I roll my eyes.

-Yes Dani.

She raises an eyebrow.

-I am!
Dani: Just checking.
Katie: What is she talking about?
-Just drop it.
Katie: But-
Dani: Kathleen. Don't.

She gives her a Look. I roll my eyes. Every time I go on one of these diets, Dani gets freaked. Which is why I never tell her.

A few years ago, when I was eleven, I started to make myself throw up. It started out as something I did every once in awhile, only when I felt really self conscious but soon it was everyday. Dani caught me and I begged her not to tell my brothers or my parents. She didn't but made me promise I'd stop. I did, eventually. And ever since she watches me like a hawk whenever I even bring up dieting.


We watch the movie. By the time the credits are rolling, the popcorn and candy are gone, but not by my doing. I haven't eaten since breakfast though and Dani knows it.

Dani: Who wants pizza?
-Do you know how many calories are in pizza?
Selena: Geese kill joy much?
-You all are lucky. You eat whatever you want and stay skinny.
Katie: Once again, I'd kill for those.

She points to my chest. I roll my eyes and zip up my sweatshirt. I'm in no mood to hear about how lucky I am. I lean back.

-Order pizza. I don't care.

Dani sighs and gets up. She goes into the kitchen.

Selena: Does this whole obsession with weight have to do with Cody?
-No. It has nothing to do with Cody. I've been on this diet before him.

I put my feet up on the coffee table. I turn on the regular T.V. The Insider is on. A picture of me and Cody from the XBOX Party appears on the screen followed by a few paparazzi pictures.

Host: Is the cutest tween couple in Hollywood headed for Splitsville? It seems that way. According to an insider, the two of them had a fight at Candy's house before Cody ending it all. Apparently Cody peeled out of the driveway and Candy ran in with tears. Does all of this have to do with a certain interview with Candy's ex? We think so.

I snap off the T.V, the tears falling down my face. Selena and Katie hug me tight. I hug them back tighter, burying my head into Katie's shoulder. I begin to sob. I hate myself. I really, really hate myself. I ruined the best relationship I ever had.
***
That night, Dani, Selena and Katie lay asleep in Katie's huge bed. I slowly get out of it and grab my purse off the floor. I go into the bathroom and shut the door. I grab the pocket knife I keep in my purse. I promised myself I'd never do this again. But it's too late. I sit down on the edge of the tub and slowly drag it down my arm. I feel the familiar warmth of the blood oozing out. I feel the tears fall down my face.

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Love
• That
• Lets
• Go
• New
• Intro

[24Cheshirecat]

Aww shit

[DevinJane14]

no DONTdo that candy its bad health.

[XxLovelyAmazingxX]

Candy, you don't need him. You're only 16. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[WeLuvNickJay]

Candy don't! You'll regret it later on!

[AngelFallenXx]

CANDY!! :(

[MissNickJWifey2121]

awe poor Candy I hope they stop Candy from doing more.

[PrettyUniqueKashia]

Poor Candy.. :(

[briskywithoutadoubt]

Awwwww:/

[selenademijustinluvr]

Oh my gosh, Candy no dont! 

[iheartnickj121]

Awe no candy!!!