Jim Tressel trades sweater vest for memorial day sleeve tattoos

Columbus, OH--For the majority of Americans, the past weekend was spent drunkenly celebrating the memory of our fallen troops and listening to the family veteran complain about his chronic trench foot. For Jim Tressel it was spent getting inked. After a tumultuous year, fraught with scandalous revelations regarding NCAA rules violations, Ohio State's storied football coach finally tendered his resignation . The resignation, while widely expected, was meet with shock when Tressel revealed the form of his tendering in a rocking pair of sleeve tattoos.

"This weekends festivities were a true inspiration to me," Tressel said from the pulpit of his resignation speech. "The entire country forming a congregation in honor of the lost, I found it enlightening, and I felt that I too needed a memorial." At this juncture Tressel ripped the sleeves from his dress shirt and flexed his burly arms, both freshly tattooed in OSU insignia.

"The sleeves? They were seriously bad-ass man," boasted the Ohio artist who inked Tressel. "Originally, he just wanted his chest painted like a scarlet sweater vest, but I was like no way man, we're going to do something totally nuts." The artist went on to explain how he convinced the coach to affect a sweater vest by inking the entirety of his arms, a notoriously costly venture. When asked how the unemployed coach could afford such a treatment, the artist explained. "He paid like everybody pays: he signed his most famous piece of apparel and used it as trade. I don't know where you're from, but around here that constitutes currency."

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