Transactional Analysis 2: games

music: http://theramintrees.bandcamp.com/track/to-be-serious
Second in a series on TA, offering some of the metaphors I think can be useful in conceptualising and dealing with interactions. This second video looks at games and some ideas on how to deal with them.
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Recommended TA texts:
1) Ian Stewart & Vann Joines: 'TA Today: A New Introduction To Transactional Analysis'
2) Thomas A Harris: 'I'm OK, You're OK'
3) Eric Berne: 'Games People Play'
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Category:

Education

Tags:

• PAC
• Parent
• Adult
• Child
• transactional
• analysis
• ego
• games
• stuck
• script
• TA
• complementary
• crossed
• split
• drama

[karadan100]

It's videos like this which endear me to the internet so much. I love listening to, and reading the thoughts of people more experienced than I. To have such an accessible forum for this at my fingertips makes me ecstatic I live in the era I do.

I also feel i should continually thank you for your impeccable delivery of raw, beautiful knowledge. It's the least I can do.

[TheraminTrees]

@karadan100 Thank you kindly — much appreciated ;8)

[MomoTheBellyDancer]

The conclusion is: don't play games; punch noses instead.

[TheraminTrees]

@MomoTheBellyDancer LOL save time wouldn't it ;8)

[LucidCatnap]

Do you have a degree in psychology by any chance? I would love to see more videos like these.

[TheraminTrees]

@LucidCatnap Thanks. And yes, I have a degree in psychology and anthropology.

[bunnygotfree]

This series is incredible. . Really, beyond excellent. I just wish I'd found it earlier, while growing up with two relatives who display high levels of Borderline and narcissistic personality traits. But I can certainly use the information here in dealing with them now. And for that I can't thank you enough for putting this all together. 

[TheraminTrees]

@Kabitu1 I did a degree in psychology along with several years of postgrad courses — about to start another 2-year course in September.

[VolcanicPenguin]

I like Transactional Analysis because it explains why everyone goes around acting like stuck up bitches.

[cryptess]

I wonder if my approach to the "Yes, but" game is a bit too aggressive. Usually, I follow through with a mix of Parent/Rescuer and Adult responses, depending on the circumstance, and if my opposition falls into Persecutor stance, I'll shove them out of it and take that place for myself by calling out the entire game in an incredibly jarring, direct way. It usually involves words such as "irredeemably manipulative attention-seeking," thus tossing them into a more receptive Child/Victim state.

[SlagarNZ]

Thank you very much. Very informative and extremely well produced videos on TA. I'm also very grateful that you've put "Recommended TA texts" in your video description.

[gracii92]

This is fascinating. 

[SavageDogg38]

@TheraminTrees What book is this video based on? I would like to research it further.

[rkyeun]

@porrophagus

One of the most amazing things about the human mind, and about consciousness in general, are that infinite regresses collapse into a solid mental object. For example:

I am aware. I am aware that I am aware. I am aware that I am aware that I am aware...

This leads to an infinite regress, but we are not actually confused by it. We understand the implication and can complete the circle instead of drawing an unending spiral. The collapsed form of "I am aware..." is:

I am.

[RippdUb]

@TheraminTrees

Ive found that in everyday life its best to analyse the self more than others. When practiced in this kind of thing (such as working as a counsellor) and just paying attention others reactionary behaviour is often quite obvious, but not so obvious from the self. Ive known a few psychologist who could do with taking on what they tell their clients.

Over analysing the self does have its own problems though, and as you've said Theramin, a balance needs to be found.

[skiddywinkle]

thanks again TheraminTrees!

[TheraminTrees]

@porrophagus It could get immobilising couldn't it — the potential for endless analysis. Speaking personally, I've found it's come naturally with experience/practice. Like juggling — especially like juggling with two significantly different weights, where at the start the heavy one gets more attention. Eventually, with practice, the body finds its equilibrium. I've found the same to be true of information processing when it comes to juggling acting and observing.

[porrophagus]

Possibly this has been addressed here, but how do you keep from going into an infinite regress, examining every aspect of every action you and others do? How do you consider the transactions while keeping a flowing and natural relationship with your partners?

By the way, you've been an intense influence on my life. I find myself referring to your work in discussions often.

[StuartG001]

This is really useful. Cheers for makung this Theramin :)

[PurpleGhost]

It's funny, without ever knowing about this- I had noticed this tendency.

I would play B and try to help people with their problems (I honestly do have a sincere want to help people) but the more often these rounds of suggestions were met with hositility rather than receptiveness, the more I came to realize that most people really had to reach for answers themselves. If I suggested things, more often than helping, I'd only be opening myself to abuse. That's no help, and no fun.

[Kabitu1]

Exactly how educated are you in the matter of psychology and human behaviour?

I´ve seen plenty of people discuss these topics on this site, but you somehow seem like more of an authority on the matter than most people.

[TheraminTrees]

@CounsellingResource Thank you. I think TA has some incredibly valuable thinking tools to offer — even when I'm not using TA terms explicitly with clients, it informs my relationship dynamic/responses hugely.

[CounsellingResource]

Excellent series of videos on Transactional Analysis.

I recommend them to my students

[ManlySlut]

Games seem to not occur in the Adult state, so I'm guessing the way to beat them is to respond in an adult state, to change their state.

I think they will continue to change their state, but if they don't go into an Adult state, then the solution would be to change into Negative Parent (probably controlling) as they will likely already be embarrassed by your already more mature state, and thus, you are now the one the parent and they are the child.

Or, any state could work, that looks easiest.

[Nightmare060]

@Slashenaar Burden of proof is a big reason to clarify ones position on the existence of god(s). I can be a bit stubborn when trying to argue a point that I don't feel is being represented properly, although these days I walk away from these situations considerably more than I used to.

[Slashenaar]

@Nightmare060 This makes sense represented more as a parent -> <- parent situation to me. what need of yours is being (or attempting) met, the need to be understood, or approved of by the theist? I'm asking why do you need them to understand the difference?