Two Brothers. (Short Story)
Loading...
Uploader Comments (x44warhawk44x)
All Comments (43)
-
congrats on getting nearly a thousand views with this ~ really good, and well deserved ^^
-
wow nice story reminds me of naruto with sasuke and itachi or sai and his brother :) I really think u guys should watch that show there is alot of life lessons in it and it's a really great show and *10/5 for the story ;)
-
it was really good, it kept me interested, but at 1:55, last sentence you should say '... with my blade in my right and his on my left.' and there doesn't need to be a comma between.
-
Awesome story Brett! Check out my other comments in my message to you.
-
What is the J music ?
-
at 58 seconds, the last sentence shuldnt be in there. you say GREAT foreshadowing in the sentence before and then blow it by saying 'one of us would not leave this battlefield' after it.
-
Really interesting story and i liked the picture at the begining ~ a picture is a thousand words ~ yup liked ^^ please write more
-
reread a few times and look to enhance some words or phrases with greater detail. maybe add direct quotes from your characters? overall pretty good, i read the whole thing :)
-
Very powerful. I like it. I hope I'll be that compassionate when my brother tries to kill me
-
@x44warhawk44x noooooo! they were perfect! so detailed!
3:22
Farewell friend.by x44warhawk44x2,991 views- 1:53
All Nighter!by x44warhawk44x2,414 views
- 11:24
TWO BROTHERS (part2) by Todd Nunes: A true short film based on the life of my schizophrenic brotherby theboy1der1001,034 views
- 0:32
Content Inappropriate?by x44warhawk44x4,099 views
- 6:42
Japanese Short Story by PINGU Groupby nosan945 views
- 4:52
Masae & Mika 5/Japanby DaisukeYamaoka74,391 views
- 1:10
OMG Alois and Claude OVA Trailer !!!!! "The Spider's Thread"by xHomuraMagika18,543 views
- 7:14
S.C.C short story fiat500by delacroixjp1,995 views
- 0:56
2007 Yamaha R6S - Two Brothers M5by CQ7String25,620 views
- 3:50
McKnight - Marry Your Daughter (lyrics inc)by Slic3ndic3s2,981,193 views
- 3:47
Arabic by Japanese アラビア語 لغة عربية (Short Story)by jijiman87,074 views
- 4:06
Jonas Brothers in Night at the Museum 2~Behind the Scenesby iluvJoeJonas919263,074 views
- 1:06
2000 cbr 929rr Custom Shorty Two Brothers Exhaustby superfly02198340,676 views
- 3:57
The Cult Electric Ocean original version Finland 1986by U2Earlyvids79,782 views
- 3:10
Fast Abs - A Tale Of 2 Brothersby fastabssecrets82 views
- 4:55
[Short Story] Im Sorry.by NintendoCandy63,399 views
- 9:52
Fired Up Funniest Scenesby Rotinpeace12385,127 views
- 4:43
My Funny Friend And Me - Stingby 000mario000dsas71,846 views
- 1:31
Modified version of Amy Tan's "Two Kinds"by melabe932,255 views
- 1:26
Disney World, American Adventure "Two Brothersby unclebillytruck3,022 views
this is like some manga stuff! that sounded so uneducated but i rly like it i would like to read more
xbendiistraw 1 year ago
@xbendiistraw
uneducated did you find all the similes and personifications in it!
x44warhawk44x 1 year ago
My criticisms are in the beginning you change narrators. The whole story is told in the first person except a section in the beginning: "two brothers on opposing sides..." this switches to the third person which is a little confusing.
diskgo 1 year ago
@diskgo
noted i kinda wanted to make it like the younger brother was just stating that inside of using i haha
x44warhawk44x 1 year ago
It seems to engage and be well written. The only thing is that there is no hint as to what the fight was about. Wierd.
paulg53 1 year ago
@paulg53
thats what i wanted to throw out there so everyone can like want more because i might make a big series out of this
x44warhawk44x 1 year ago