I'm A Vegetarian Now

My semi-autobiographical greatest "hit" about becoming a vegetarian. Recorded back in 1991 in my dorm room at Antioch College in Yellow Springs, OH

This is a copy of a video I uploaded 3+ years ago on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ulKiyLdbTY

For some reason the audio got yanked for that one so I re-encoded and re-uploaded it so it wont get flagged as a duplicate. Hopefully that one can be repaired someday.

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Lyrics:

I'm A Vegetarian Now
Written and performed by Matthew Baya
January 1991

Now I was raised an all-american kid,
I enjoyed all four food groups
an after school snack was a raw hotdog
and Chunky Sirloin Burger soup
Ham and cheese sandwich for lunch,
steak and potatoes at night
scrambled eggs and sausage and bacon,
pepperoni on my pizza slice
and Burger King was a big night out,
and steak was the meal of the week
I don't think there was a day of my youth
that went by without eating meat

But then it was off to college,
just fresh out of high school
and I was surprised to find out
that eating meat wasn't cool
When people saw meat on my plate,
well they just stared and walked away
and no one else ate chicken noodle soup,
not even on the rainy days
and no matter what I offered my friends
they'd always state out loud..
"I'm sorry Matt, but I can't eat that,
'cause I'm vegetarian now!"

and I will have no part of,
a pig or a chicken or cow
Sorry Matt but I can't eat that
'cause I'm a vegetarian now!

So I became a vegetarian,
and my friends thought that was neat
how hard could it possibly be
just to avoid eating meat?
So I starting avoiding meat in the college caf,
and it really wasn't that hard
until someone quietly told me,
that they cooked everything with lard
but I went home a meatless son
and I was really quite proud
I walked into our meat filled kitchen
and said 'Mom, I'm a vegetarian now'

and I will have no part of, a pig or a chicken or cow
Sorry mom I can't eat your food, cause I'm a vegetarian now

Well I don't think my mom was ready
for her son would change his diet
"How do you know you don't like it,
if you haven't tried it?"
I said mom it's not the taste of your food,
I eat for a higher cause
and can you honestly tell me,
did you know where that cow was?
it was probably in a small uncomfortable pen,
life's hard for a factory farmed cow
and she said 'stop right there I don't think I want to know
why you're a vegetarian now'

and you will have no part of,
a pig or a chicken or a cow
your ethics won't let me eat my food
'cause you're a vegetarian now

Well now dad was another story
"Now son, you're eating wrong"
"A man needs lots of good red meat
to grow up healthy and strong"
I said "Dad, now what's your problems?
I mean you know this isn't a joke
and I don't think you'd be half as upset
if I had started to smoke.
I think that liberal arts college of yours
has led you astray somehow
keep it a secret in today's business world
if you're going to be a vegetarian now

"Cause America was built on,
eating pigs and chickens and cows
keep it a secret if you're going to stay
one of those vegetarian types now"

Now there is no moral to this story,
it's just my tale for you,
and I'm not trying to tell you
what you should or you shouldn't do
I've been a vegetarian for a whole year now
and it's a feat not accomplished with ease
and one of these days I'm going to learn to cook more
than Kraft Macaroni & cheese
and I come back to Antioch College
with all my friends and pals
and three vegetarian meals each day,
'cause I'm a vegetarian now

and I will have no part of,
a pig or a chicken or a cow
forget all about that kind of food
'cause I'm a vegetarian now

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• vegetarian
• funny
• song

[MegaYihaa]

Very good !

I am vegetarian too because how the animals have too died because of some suckers isn´t okay.

I hope that was right english .

German.

[stoneddummy]

i like pot

[TheTrueSaberMaster]

I used to be a vegetarian but then i took a arrow to the knee.

[animalcinema]

pretty neat song dude, great job

[TwistedMind6969]

Good for you!

[JilleyWillyNilly]

@ranchuboy7

XD

[ranchuboy7]

@JilleyWillyNilly well no shit sherlock

[JilleyWillyNilly]

@ranchuboy7

Also, if you're so against vegetarians, why did you click on this video? It's obviously pro-vegetarian...

Just to fight, huh?

[JilleyWillyNilly]

@ranchuboy7

Most vegetarians don't want everyone else to be vegetarians, too. It's just their personal preference, they have their own reasons (mine is the fact that we grow enough food for 11 billion people, and 1 billion of 7 billion people on earth struggle with hunger, and yet we still feed animals meant for slaughter about half of what we grow. I could care less about the animals, but the fact that most farm-raised animals sit in a lagoon of their own manuer helps a bit) chill out.

[Maper555]

@ranchuboy7 vegetarians feel they dont want to eat meat because its off of a living thing, then i ask them "why do you like stealing air from me?, you're eating plants that give me air, do you not like air?" im smart

[ranchuboy7]

@d1ff3r3ntb0iNL what the fuck the only meat i eat is one thats been on my farm whena a cow gets old we put a bullet in its head and eat it anyway in australia the use of hormones in food leads to 20 years to life in prison