What does your handshake say about you? Communication expert, Brett Rutledge, joins TODAY to decode the meanings behind different handshakes and give his tips on how to give the perfect handshake.
Brett talks about the importance of handshakes, the meanings behind the various types of handshakes, how to give a good/neutral handshake and the etiquette required for certain situations.
Understanding (of the message being conveyed)
Agreement (of the message)
Caring (about the topic/message)
Action (whether the person will so something about the message)
The importance of handshakes
A handshake determines how you will be initially perceived by a person. It underpins your message
A handshake should reflect your job/work/position and personality
It should NOT be fake
Handshakes are part of the symbolic communication ''channels''. The three communication channels are:
Fact (the information)
Emotion (the actual feelings of the people you are talking to and expressing your own emotions)
Symbolic (walking the talk, handshakes)
A handshake is first and foremost a formal greeting, a ''huge'' social thing. It is vital to paving the way for further interaction. It can have an important result in developing a friendship.
Different types of handshakes and their meanings
There are many names for the different types of handshakes. These factors come into handshakes:
Strength
Temperature (of hand)
Moisture
Grip
Duration
Speed
Complexity (for example, a hip/hop ganster handshake is long and complex compared to a white person's handshake)
Texture (of skin)
Eye contact
Some of the more popular handshake types:
The Bone Crusher: This person has a very firm grip and this handshake is meant to intimidate. It also shows confidence.
The Dead Fish: A limp, wet, handshake that could indicate the person is passive or has a reserved personality. These people might be shy or not interested in the meeting. Men might look timid. Women are allowed to have a weaker grip as they are ''still the fairer sex''.
The Palms Down: If you put your hands on someone else's hands you are showing dominance. You are authoritative. Can also show a controlling personality.
The Palms Up: I am here to serve you. It can also indicate when first offered, submission or take charge. Submission.
A long handshake: Male dominance - male to male, but if a male is shaking a female hand he could just be enjoying it.
Hand to hand grip: Grabbing the person's arm while shaking their hand indicates the person is in control. Loved by politicians. Also used by the clergy and used to show sympathy. Pollies use it to show their control. Often are photographed on the left side of a person as it looks like their hand is on top even if it isn't. Could also convey familiarity.
The Pull In: Showing dominance. Also known as the controller.
The Finger Vice/Royal Handshake: When someone grabs your fingers and not your entire hand it is meant to keep you at a distance. These people are often insecure. Shows your are deferential to them.
The Side by Side: The ideal/neutral handshake. Both person's hands are touching equally.
The ideal handshake
Firm but does not crush
Dry hands
Hand should be at a reasonable temperature - body temperature
The fullness of grip - hold the person's entire hand comfortably, not just their fingers Speed (reasonable)
Their hands and yours side by side
Length of handshake
Eye contact
Greet the person at the same time
DO NOT tickle the person while shaking their hand, slap their behind or kiss a woman on the cheek unless you know them well
Should men treat women differently when shaking hands?
Sometimes there is a kiss on the cheek but only if you know the woman well
When a male's testosterone kicks in they can forget they are shaking the hand of a woman and do not realise their bone structure is finer and that they could crush a woman's hands
Brett says no matter how far we've come in society, women are still the fairer sex and men should be more careful
Some business women feel they should imitate a man's strong handshake but they should NOT as it will appear unnatural and will be of detriment to how the woman will be perceived
Do handshakes correctly show a persons feelings or personality?
A lot of inappropriate handshakes happen by accident
Like all body language, as soon as you get wind of what the person is doing then it doesn't work
Your not going to accept a person's dominance if you know they are intentionally doing it
Therefore, you can't rely on a handshakes meanings as being 100% correct as the message could be misinterpreted
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best handshake of all timeby itsbball4life38,513 views
my lord =o do ppl really not no how to shake hands these days :/ LMFAO!
Misschristinegumus 4 months ago
hahahahha fucking hel hahahah :D
ThrashAbaddon 5 months ago
sweaty palms cannot be controlled
Miike92 1 year ago