Narcissist as Spoiled Brat

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

The narcissist presents to the world a facade of invincibility, equanimity, superiority, skilfulness, cool-headedness, invulnerability, and, in short: indifference.

This front is penetrated in times of great crises that threaten the narcissist's ability to obtain Narcissistic Supply, or when the Narcissistic Supply is spurious (fake or low-grade), negative, or static.

In extremis, when all his default behaviors and solutions fail, or when only negative, fake, low-grade, and static narcissistic supply is to be had, the narcissist "falls apart" in a process of disintegration known as decompensation (the inability to maintain psychological defenses in the face of mounting stress.) This is accompanied by "acting out": when an inner conflict (most often, frustration) translates into aggression. It involves acting with little or no insight or reflection and in order to attract attention and disrupt other people's cosy lives.

The dynamic forces which render the narcissist paralysed and fake -- his vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and fears -- are starkly exposed as his defences crumble and become dysfunctional. The narcissist's extreme dependence on his social milieu for the regulation of his sense of self-worth is painfully and pitifully evident as he is reduced to begging and cajoling.

At such times, the narcissist acts out self-destructively and anti-socially. His mask of superior equanimity is pierced by displays of impotent rage, self-loathing, self-pity, passive-aggressiveness, and crass attempts at manipulation of his friends, family, and colleagues. His ostensible benevolence and caring evaporate. He feels caged and threatened and he reacts as any animal would do: by striking back at his perceived tormentors, at his hitherto "nearest" and "dearest".

In the majority of cases, narcissists react to deficient narcissistic supply by resorting to several adaptive solutions.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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• narcissist
• personality disorder
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• false self
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• sociopath
• delusional
• delusion

[cocobogey]

what on earth is "fake narcissistic supply"?

[samvaknin]

@cocobogey Search my channel for the relevant video.

[deepmind50]

Mr. Vankin , thanks again for your insight.

[THEOZZYFUL]

@FukPhysics the fact that you are worried about your behavior being destructive to you or your surroundings is already a sign that you don not have it

many people show some of the thoughts and behavoirs of narcissism

but if you feel there is something about yourself you would like to change for the better go for it

gaining insight in yourself is always a good thing

a true narcissist would feel he/she is already perfect and everyone else needs help

[hitlerscow]

@THEOZZYFUL Strange, the maker of this video (Mr Vankin) rebukes your claims in a different video: Narcissism Myths: Suicide, Types, Crises.

He starts talking about the self-awareness at about 2:40

[Kathydrel]

Funny thing is I watched this vidio thinking I would gain insight into my husband and ended up finding myself : ( and as we all know we can't change anyone but ourselves ,then and only then will people react differently to us. Thus changing the whole world for the better : ))

[Kathydrel]

Sadly ,when we only look at the dark side of what might happen we forget to imagine the happy outcome, which is probably the more likely outcome. It's all about fear, fear is mentioned 365 times in the amplified bible, and 138 times it says FEAR NOT ! So with Gods help and your insight I'm commanding the spirit of fear to leave me now ,in the name of Jesus ,Amen : )) thank you God for hearing and answering my prayer.

[Kathydrel]

You won't change if you don't think there is a problem! Thank you again Sam for shining a light on such a dark subject. Way to much of this essay sounds like me ,and your right when you say it's a defense strategy . I have felt that if I could just be alone no one could hurt me. Or so I thought. But the word of God says it is not good for man to be alone,so knowing His word is true I forced myself to join a bible study ( a safe place) and by believing ,received the best gift of all ,true friend

[SkankExpose]

Everyone is judgmental, narcissistic and selfish to some degree, because everyone has an ego. If you weren't narcissistic to some degree, you couldn't survive. In the cases of extreme narcissism I think it's just displaced rage that was never vented at the time it should have been at a crucial point in a person's development. Perhaps the person was bullied and they never confronted the bully. So later they held resentment, stifled their TRUE CONFIDENCE and then took their shit out on others.

[goddessfindings]

so so so glad you're still making these videos. Excellent work.

[tgillihan]

I still love him but can't be near him for fear of finishing off whatever remains of the original person. I've moved on but he is stuck and walled off from real life. I find myself still trying to rescue from a distance but I have to let go and hope he gets better.

[tgillihan]

Rage broke out over the most minor comments and I began to weigh every word before speaking. When I did speak he insisted that I phrase things correctly and this meant restating questions or requests 'just right' before they would be accepted. The acting out took bizarre forms, like a private Kabuki performance to a bound audience. The false self consumed the real person and I watched someone I loved implode in slow motion until he was gone.