Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen

Monty Python - Four Yorkshiremen

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[Andy Conally]

Festering shite? You wer' lucky, we used to live in an empty fag packet in the mouth of an active volcano, all 750 of us. We'd get up 3 minutes before we've gone to sleep, crawl over molten lava naked 200 miles to't pit. We'd work 48 hours a day for threppence ha' penny a decade and when we got home we'd be hung drawn and quartered. Eee, them were't days.

[symbiote111]

A fag packet? Lucky bastard you are. I lived in a torn plastic bag in the cold vacuum of space, with my family half the size of the population of Vietnam. And ev'ry day we had to plummet to earth at high-speeds, hope we didn't burn up in the atmosphere, and then go to work at factory made of barbed, and get paid in shit covered rolled-up newspapers. And we got home, we ate live rats carrying the bubonic plague, and then our plastic bag would get hit by a Soviet nuclear strike. Ah, Memories...

[Bob Jarvis]

Skits like this in your English book? We would have given our right ams for books! When I were studyin' English we didn't have books - just claw marks on a piece of rotten wood, written by a dyspeptic monkey! Teacher gave us five seconds to look at it then took it away and we had to recite it back to 'im! An' if we didn't get it right he'd THRASH us with a bloody great cane! All that in kindergarten! After 8 years of that I'd had enough so they promoted me to first grade! Books? Luxury!

[shadowhaddock222]

Plastic bag? Sheer luxury. We lived in an acid and mercury lake in the center of venus, all 10 billion of us We had to get up 3 years before we went to bed and have only a bowl of nails with no milk. Then we'd have to go to work down the pit for 1 shit and newspaper roll a year and pay £15 for the privilege of working and when we came home our dad would torture over a period of 10 months and then we got hit by 2 soviet nuclear strikes. You had it easy.

[claire judson]

Yorkshire?! LUXURY! We got dragged up in Nelson, worked in the mill for 23 hours before going to school for 8 days a week and got home and was thrashed wi the cane, our eyes popped out of our skull and drunk weed killer through the holes in our head! Grand times and we never bloomin moaned !

[Dontellthewifelol]

Thats my sister you are talking about......

[Dontellthewifelol]

You are telling lies it was tuppence`ha penny a decade.

[Dontellthewifelol]

Cleveland,Ohio.....you were lucky

[Dontellthewifelol]

Hole in the ground,I used to dream of a hole in the ground,I lived in Ramsbottom for 62 years.

[Encom7]

We had to go live in a lake.

[jimmyshitbags]

Lagrangian point between two neutron stars? If only!!! The only roof over our heads we could afford was a fleeting vacuum fluctuation on the event horizon of a supermassive black hole - all 3x(10 ^ 8) of us. Each day we'd wake up helplessly edging closer to oblivion, and every night when we got home, our dad would spaghettify us, scolding us for billions of years as unimaginable tidal forces ripped apart every atom of our body... but we never complained. Folk were harder back then.

[MaraudingManiac]

Vacuum of space? That's Shangrila. We used to live in a torture chamber in the core of the sun, and we had to tip-toe to school all the way to Alpha Centauri, where we would proceed to have an entire college course drilled into us every day. Once school was over, we made a piece of lint every millenium using our own intenstines to harvest Dark Matter at the edge of the known universe. Once we got home, my dad would dislocate every bone in our bodies and publicly sking poems of our failures.