~Guilt Confessional~ New Poem 080809

The reading is not perfect. For the exact piece, read along with the description :) Music/sound provided by Deconstructures
New Poetry c2009
Guilt Confessional 080809
What I dont see does not bother me.
I have never been a good liar to myself
Just everyone else, who all think I am a free soul
Listless, happy with freedom and goals.
But I have always been stuck in my mind that I know, for at least half my lifetime.
Folding walls and shackled down by the understanding of time
The role it plays in everything.
Forever feel like I am dying cause the common cold takes me out at least
Three times a year. But I dont know, for what is yet to be and what might end up coming just around the next corner.
Everyday a little bit older in this body that is ruled by the secrecy of my immaturity.
But I know I am failing you cause you live vicariously through me as
I look to you through leadership among my entire ancestry.
Guilt is all I can sow
Under the guise of toughness
And anger.
Too hard to get to know.
Only alone with no followers.
Stoned to forget about the
Stones I throw.
Wallow in what is never shown
About life and love, death and lust.
Blown beyond recognition and
Back into dust.
Prone to destruction,
This insatiable search for what must be
Someones idea of a sick joke or curse;
Life is a burst but with little instruction.
Might find the most use in an inkling of trust
From all this intrusion of a rusty head.
We are complicated characters, that much I know.
Full of excuses and show many faces,
Ive forgot who it was I wanted to become;
The withered seeds I was to sow.
Getting nowhere in small circles.
Another week comes and goes.
All sorts of new voices chatter their agenda
To willful throngs who wait for a crescendo
In the speech to cheer or jeer or fear the fact
That nothing is what it would seem.
Life is a model thief.
Radiant new sun for one and all
Above the clouds in our heads
And the beast in our hearts.

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[BigLoveZone]

love the poem and alien ambient soundtrack, Joel. Wish I had a studio I could shoot some fantastic footage of man stranded in space and time....it just gives me images this poem.

[leftgreenthumb]

Thank you, Bobbie! The poem was three poems that merged into one :) The music is my live improvisation band - Deconstructures :) Ambient is our bread :)

Work with what you've got! :) I would love to do so much more with my videos! If you want to remake anything.. it would be my honour!

[EgyptianRocker]

woah... most definitely haunting. very powerful. =]

[leftgreenthumb]

:) Thanks man!

[loctia1]

what a powerful poem!

[leftgreenthumb]

Thank you for the comment :)

[George66664]

You got to stop talking to yourself and i hope you don't see double From 666

[leftgreenthumb]

well said! :) Thank you.

[blurredsilence]

good job, btw. :)

[blurredsilence]

"Getting nowhere in small circles"... isn't that an understatement! I think about that a lot. Our existence, major for us, but small in the grand scheme. Its a miracle we are here, yet as significant as a speck of dust on a desert dune. In the end, all we've done, all we've accomplished, will only be for us, remembered by only us, and celebrated by no one else.