Beerside Scoundrels - Old Dun Cow

The Beerside Scoundrels performing "The Old Dun Cow" at Kansas City Renaissance Festival 2010. This is from the third weekend. Note: By the last weekend, the members and jokes had changed.

LYRICS:
We was all at a public house
Playing a game of chance one night
When into the pub a fireman ran
His face was a ghastly white.
"What's up", says Brown, "Have you seen a ghost,
Have you seen your Aunt Mariah?"
"Well my Aunt Mariah be buggered!", says he,
"The bleedin' pub's on fire!"

Then Brown jumped up, "What a bit of luck!
What a bit of luck," cried he,
"It's down to the cellar
If the fire's not there
Then we'll have us a drunken spree."
So we went on down after good old Brown
The booze we could not miss
And we hadn't been there ten minutes or more
Till we was good and pissed!

And there was Brown upside down
He was lappin' up the whiskey on the floor.
And "Booze, booze!" the firemen cried
As they came knockin' on the door (clap clap)
Well don't let 'em in till it's all drunk up
Somebody shouted MacIntyre! MACINTYRE!
And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk
When the Old Dun Cow caught fire.

Then Smith walked over to the port wine tub
And gave it just a few hard knocks (clap clap)
And he started takin' off his pantaloons
Likewise his shoes and socks.
You can't do that, you shouldn't do that,
You really shouldn't do that round here
Don't go washin' your trotters in the port wine tub
When we got the Musical Blades' stash of beer."

Then there came from the old back door
The Vicar of the local church.
And when he saw our drunken ways,
He began to scream and curse.
"Ah, you drunken sods! You heathen clods!
You've taken to a drunken spree!
Why, you drank up all the Benedictine wine
And you didn't save a drop for me!"

And then there came a mighty crash
Half the bloody roof gave way.
We were almost drowned in the firemen's hose
But still we were gonna stay.
So we got some tacks and some old wet sacks
And we nailed ourselves inside
And we sat drinking the finest rum
Till we was bleary-eyed.

Later that night, when the fire was out
We came up from the cellar below.
Our pub was burned, our booze was drunk,
Our heads was hanging low.
Then "Look", says Brown with a look quite odd.
Seems something caught his ire.
"Well we better get down to Murphy's Pub,
It closes on the hour!"

Category:

Music

Tags:

• kcrf
• 2010
• renaissance
• festival
• traditional
• comedy
• renfest
• kansas
• city

[FlosHeadford]

The Old Dun Cow was written (words and music) by Harry Wincott (1867-1947), born in Lambeth, London, lived the later part of his life in Yeovil. Glad to know it makes sense in other cultures.