How To Pick a Karaoke Song If You Cant Sing

Expand the description and view the text of the steps for this how-to video.

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Just because you're tone deaf doesn't mean you can't take the mike at the next karaoke night.

To complete this How-To you will need:

A talented or loud singing partner or two
Bravery
Booze

Step 1: Get partners

Get a talented person or two to sing with you, so you can mostly just mouth the words. Or find someone loud enough to drown you out entirely.

Step 2: Keep it simple

If you're on your own, begin by narrowing down potential songs by complexity. Look for a simple verse-chorus-verse structure and a reasonable tempo.

Tip: Down a shot before you take the stage—alcohol is a time-honored inhibition-reducer.

Step 3: Stick to the middle

Stick to songs that are sung mostly in the middle of the standard vocal range, with as little variation as possible. In other words, stay away from tunes by Mariah "I Can Shatter Glass with My Vocal Cords" Carey.

Step 4: Rap it up

For an easy way out, pick a rap song, or anything that is more spoken than sung, like "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'." It's kind of cheating, but what do you care?

Tip: Favor songs whose lyrics you know. Yes, karaoke machines show you the words as you go along, but this way you can concentrate on your pitch and tone.

Step 5: Consider weird songs

Consider weird songs. If no one really knows how a song should go, they won't know you're massacring it.

Step 6: Keep it short

Keep it short and sweet—three minutes of bad singing is less likely to get you pelted with lime garnishes and maraschino cherries than six.

Step 7: Have fun

Most important, have fun. And don't worry about the audience—if people wanted real music, they would have gone to a jazz club.

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[silverrock936]

singing heavy metal songs is great too, you generally just scream the lyrics and usually the songs aren't too complicated. I scared my co workers like this. haha

[89chiyoko1]

How To Pick a Karaoke Song If You Cant Sing

Solution: DO NOT SING AT ALL.

[MarcLloydZ]

Howcast sucks balls fuck this shit.

[amomi07]

NO,NO,NO......"spicy foods" should be avoided because these cause irritation to our throat as well as our vocal cords, and may cause us to clear our throats more often, creating more discomfort in our voice! BAD IDEA...

[Sarahbellum29]

Ooh, who is this handsome man with a kick ass beard? They did a good job with character portrayal. Don't know how I ended up here but thanks for the laugh!

[armyyyg]

Next....how to shot yourself in the head

[baddave62]

Maybe he can't sing, but he's handsome.

[ShibaNamedChewy]

But I'm 15...

[mckena135]

maybe his/her parents would KILL him/her, if they knew their kid drank alchohol! Thats how my parents would react!

[idklolnow]

lol

then eat something spicy so it will losen up your vocals and sing easier

im a kid too lol

[conana99]

alcohol. Lol