How To Pick a Karaoke Song If You Cant Sing

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Just because you're tone deaf doesn't mean you can't take the mike at the next karaoke night.

To complete this How-To you will need:

A talented or loud singing partner or two
Bravery
Booze

Step 1: Get partners

Get a talented person or two to sing with you, so you can mostly just mouth the words. Or find someone loud enough to drown you out entirely.

Step 2: Keep it simple

If you're on your own, begin by narrowing down potential songs by complexity. Look for a simple verse-chorus-verse structure and a reasonable tempo.

Tip: Down a shot before you take the stage—alcohol is a time-honored inhibition-reducer.

Step 3: Stick to the middle

Stick to songs that are sung mostly in the middle of the standard vocal range, with as little variation as possible. In other words, stay away from tunes by Mariah "I Can Shatter Glass with My Vocal Cords" Carey.

Step 4: Rap it up

For an easy way out, pick a rap song, or anything that is more spoken than sung, like "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'." It's kind of cheating, but what do you care?

Tip: Favor songs whose lyrics you know. Yes, karaoke machines show you the words as you go along, but this way you can concentrate on your pitch and tone.

Step 5: Consider weird songs

Consider weird songs. If no one really knows how a song should go, they won't know you're massacring it.

Step 6: Keep it short

Keep it short and sweet—three minutes of bad singing is less likely to get you pelted with lime garnishes and maraschino cherries than six.

Step 7: Have fun

Most important, have fun. And don't worry about the audience—if people wanted real music, they would have gone to a jazz club.

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[silverrock936]

singing heavy metal songs is great too, you generally just scream the lyrics and usually the songs aren't too complicated. I scared my co workers like this. haha

[89chiyoko1]

How To Pick a Karaoke Song If You Cant Sing

Solution: DO NOT SING AT ALL.

[armyyyg]

Next....how to shot yourself in the head

[baddave62]

Maybe he can't sing, but he's handsome.

[ShibaNamedChewy]

But I'm 15...

[mckena135]

@MrDeepalbatross maybe his/her parents would KILL him/her, if they knew their kid drank alchohol! Thats how my parents would react!

[idklolnow]

@WanaBSedtd lol

then eat something spicy so it will losen up your vocals and sing easier

im a kid too lol

[conana99]

@georgedodia alcohol. Lol

[conana99]

@silverrock936 They are normally very advanced vocalists actually....

[MrDeepalbatross]

@WanaBSedtd lol ok idk how old u are but whoever told u a single shot of alchohol would kill u is either an asshole or just retarded, cuz there are kids in other countries that drink absynthe like its water, as young as 4, and u can type so i assume ur not 4

[ValeriaStudios]

step 1: DON'T.