The Difference Between Liberals and Conservatives

http://www.rodneyohebsion.com/tlrac.htm


Conservatives think liberals are fucking idiots.
Liberals think conservatives are fucking idiots.

Conservatives think liberals are fucking assholes.
Liberals think conservatives are fucking assholes.

Conservatives are conservatives due to their love of conservatism.
Liberals are liberals due to their hatred of conservatism.

Conservatives believe in God.
Liberals think they are God.

Conservatives want to engrave the Ten Commandments on every doorpost in the country.
Liberals want to tape the Bill of Rights over the Ten Commandments in every Bible on the planet.

Conservatives think that gay marriage will turn the world into one huge gay orgy.
Liberals think that this is a free country, that people should have the right to marry whomever they want, and that if we ban gay marriage, we might as well change our name to Iran.

Conservatives shoot first and ask questions later.
Liberals ask questions first and then blame conservatives for everything.

Conservatives stand around at our borders holding guns.
Liberals want conservatives to turn their guns on themselves and pull the trigger.

Conservatives want to stab eyes and remove teeth.
Liberals want to give murderers a sad face sticker and a timeout.

Conservatives want to leave everything to supply and demand.
Liberals demand that the government supply them with shit.

Conservatives think that people solve problems, and governments create them.
Liberals think that governments solve problems, and conservatives create them.

Conservatives yell, Mine, mine, mine!
Liberals like to whine, whine, whine.

A conservative looks at someone and thinks, How can I profit off of him?
A liberal looks at someone and thinks, How can I convince him hes wrong?

Conservatives think people tend to be more productive when being productive makes them more money.
Liberals think people will rape each other when presented with the opportunity to make more money.

Conservatives think that having the government handle money is like having a blind man handle your hernia surgery.
Liberals think that having a free economy handle money is like having Willie Nelson guard your marijuana stash.

Conservatives will tell you that every man has his price.
Liberals would like to tell you that every man has his rice.

Conservatives want to say farewell to welfare.
Liberals want to say farewell to capitalism.

Conservatives think that schools should compete for business.
Liberals think that schools should teach people not to become conservatives.

Liberals think that the government should provide free healthcare.
Conservatives think that free healthcare will be worth exactly what people pay for it.

Liberals think conservatives are a bunch of deluded, money loving dickheads who would gladly trade the sun for a jar of mayonnaise.
Conservative think liberals are a bunch of deluded, tree hugging sissies who dont realize that we need to cut down a few trees in order to build a house.

Liberals think that global warming is caused by conservatives.
Conservatives think that global warming doesnt exist, or that if it does exist, its caused by the burps of degenerate liberal drunks like the Kennedys.

Liberals buy tofu and drive hybrids.
Conservatives buy Hummers and drive up the price of oil.

Liberals think that guns kill people.
Conservatives think that guns not only dont kill people, they actually save people—as long as we each have at least fifteen of them.

Liberals think the UN spreads peace.
Conservatives think UN stands for Unbelievably Naïve.

Liberals want the US to withdraw from Iraq.
Conservatives want the US to attack France.

Liberals smoke marijuana and LSD.
Conservatives snort cocaine and more cocaine.

Liberals root for Fonzie and Chachi.
Conservatives root for Mr. Burns and Flanders.

Liberals think that humans evolved from bacteria.
Conservatives think that Darwin was a homo.

Liberals sing Heal the World and We Shall Overcome.
Conservatives sing Achy Breaky Heart and I Wish I Was in Dixie.

Liberals reenact the Civil War in order to learn about the nations history.
Conservatives reenact the Civil War in order to get ready for the rematch.

Category:

News & Politics

Tags:

• The
• Difference
• Between
• Liberals
• and
• Conservatives

[4EvilCupcake]

this is earl kindalls man and i love this video both sides are wrong on certain subjects but i would lean more twards the conservitaves point why dont we post the ten commandments

[francisGish]

REALLY GOOD !

[EvanesEmperor]

This seems to lean right. Am I wrong?

[terceldude]

@twittermonz similarly, how can conservatives be anti-socialist when this country is very social in its world affairs and against welfare when they have to pay it by law???

[twittermonz]

wtf? how can people be Liberals when they are agents Capitalism and this is a capitalist country?

[earlyhemibill]

@crazyassblinddude VOTE FOR PEDRO!

[stitch99]

Left-Libertarianism, Baby!

[ANTIEMO571]

So I take it you have significant beefs with both sides. I agree, but my primary beef is with the liberals, especally the "progressive liberals". Nothing pisses me off more. The regular liberals are ok when they arent fucking annoying me about environmental issues. But this video was fucking helarious anyway. Thanks for posting it.

[halfbreed009]

i am a moderate, when the rematch comes ill be standing on the sidelines watching the final class between conservatives and liberals and whoever wins.....will be picked of by me hehe

[crazyassblinddude]

i enjoyed napoeloan dynamite telling me everything i already though (as an independent opposed to the two party paradine) no complaints, get rid of them both and lets get an athenian style democracy going