Homeless Glam by Unchained Productions XtraNormal Theatre

It is a glamorous life being homeless but it is not for everyone

MAN: I'm going to become a homeless person, like you

BUM: What ever for?

MAN: I'm tired of paying property taxes on my home and I'm sick of my job

BUM: You have a job and a home?

MAN: I envy you. No responsibilities, go wherever you please, sleep out under the stars

BUM: I sleep in a shelter when I can. And nights are usually cold.

MAN: I'll bet you meet a lot of interesting people being homeless

BUM: Depends what you call interesting

MAN: Must be great Living for today, never giving a care for tomorrow

BUM: What have you been smoking?

MAN: I had a friend who's brother was homeless

BUM: I'm sorry

MAN: Well, he got evicted from his apartment and was staying on his brother's couch for half a month until he got another one, but technically he was homeless.

BUM: It's not really very glamorous

MAN: And all those clever signs you make to get money from people "Anything helps" or "Tired, cold and hungry" that's just great!

BUM: Usually I am tired, cold and hungry

MAN: But you are in charge of your self, no one to answer to, living the dream!

BUM: I never dreamed about something like this

MAN: Say, do you know any one? Do you think you could get me to be homeless?

BUM: What do you mean?

MAN: I mean, maybe someone who could recommend me to the streets? Maybe start out as a part-time bum or something?

BUM: That makes no sense

MAN: It's the diving in that keeps me from doing it. You know, once you're in the streets, there's no turning back

BUM: Many of us are trying to get off the streets

MAN: I know, some people just can't be committed to a life on the streets

BUM: I do know of a few people who got committed.

MAN: Oh, do you think I could talk to them?

BUM: Why would you want to do that?

MAN: You know, get the low down on what it takes, find out the inside scoop, best places to go, things to watch out for

BUM: You do learn to deal with crazy people

MAN: I think that's neat

BUM: I'm getting some good experience right now,

MAN: You can still get cappuccinos if you're homeless, right?

BUM: What?

MAN: I don't think I could give up my morning cappuccino even if I was offered a life of a bum on a silver platter

BUM: This is a joke, isn't it? A cruel joke.

MAN: It's cruel that I just can't do without my latte in the morning, that's for sure

BUM: Look, here's my card. My cousin, he's an agent for the destitute. I can't promise anything, but maybe he can set you up with some aimless wandering around, public urinating, hanging around a convenience store, that kind of thing. Just to see if the streets are for you.

MAN: That's fantastic! Just what I need! How can I repay you?

BUM: Well, since you asked. Got a quarter? Spare change? Anything helps you know.

MAN: Sorry, I'd just be helping the competition, you know?

BUM: I understand. I'll have my agent call you

MAN: Thanks a lot.

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

• xtranormal
• humor
• Unchained
• Productions

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