yoga bitch

by Del Nel: Delia Brown (lyrics & vocals) & Nelson Marquez (music & production); additional vocals by Tracii McGregor

SCROLL DOWN FOR LYRICS
MP3 will soon be available on iTunes

Video:
Director & producer - Delia Brown
Camera - Ian Congdon
Editor - Michael Teisan
Post (Color correction, etc) - Inti Martinez
Thanks to Katya Meyer

YBs: Delia Brown, Tracii Mcgregor, Jasmine Vega, Naomi Yamada, Danielle Vaughn, Anna Lima, Melissa Ellis, Naomi Brooke,
Hippy Chick: Danielle Vaughn
Hot Yoga Teacher: Morena Santos
Male Yoga Students: Huey Pritchard, Joel Virgel
Yoga Dude #1: Keith "Carma" Bataille
Yoga Dude #2: Allen Tombello
Lady w/ Groceries: Marianne Brown

Shout out to James Brown for letting us shoot at Yoga Poser (an ashtanga & teacher training studio that was in Venice when we filmed, and has now moved to Fred Segal SM), the SM Real Food Daily staff for kindly tolerating the weirdos with stick-on soul patches and silly wigs, & sincere apologies to the teacher at Santa Monica Yoga whose class we accidentally disturbed...Namaste!

and P.S. for the record, this is not a response to the F&S Yoga Girl video - purely a coincidence...

Verse 1:
Urdva Mukha, Adho Mukha, stay present
The patchouli and tabouli scent isn't pleasant
What now? Holy cow -- Don't go into plow!
[fart]...Wow.
In an Iyengar class, you hold your pose
But apparently in this class, you hold your nose.
You make it hard to keep my heart chakra open,
Trustafarian troll, what? You're shower broken?
Your poses like that ugly top are all out of sequins/sequence
Clearly, you only do Ashtanga on the weekends.
Then, there she goes, into camel pose,
But -- ("but what?") - no camel toes!!
Everyone knows there's only one cause for that -
("A maxi-pad?") - now, roll up your mat.
Take your Tivas and your Guatemalan bag,
I guess you didn't know you shouldn't do inversions on the rag!

Chorus:

I'm a yoga bitch
See me sitting in lotus
I'm a yoga bitch
Yeah, try not to notice
My asana is causin' a bit of a scene,
I'm a yoga bitch
Nah mean?

I'm a yoga bitch
Namaste
I'm a yoga bitch
Get outta my way
I'm trying to get to class and my ass is late
I'm a yoga bitch, bitch!
Don't hate

Verse 2:
The stench was still lingering but less intense
So I lit a whole box...of incense.
I was halfway through suryanamascar B
With the oceanic sound of my ujayii
...It was like being in Mysore,
When in my dristi: Another eyesore!
Yoga dudes are confused if they think I wanna freak 'em
You upset me when you sweat me like Bikram.
"Hey, don't I recognize that chatturunga?
Did your hair used to be longer? And a little bit blonder?"
No. I'm pretty sure that wasn't me.
"Well if you're free would you like to meet for tea?"
Not really. Not if I have a choice.
Then I floss a vinyasa like Patabhi Jois.
"I've got a Groupon Coupon for a couples' colonic - "
I don't give a shit, so are you trying to be ironic?

Chorus

Verse 3:
This weanies hit more yoginis than [name of your local hot male yoga teacher here]
But hot as a hippy can be
Can he finance my yoga retreats in Tulum,
And put lines on the Noguchi table in my living room?
It's a phenomenon. Where there is kirtan
There's a dude with a soul patch who wants to get his flirt on.
He wants to read to you the Bhagavad Gita
Or Patanjali's sutras, in anjalay mudra.
Eats half your food, and wants to split the check.
Next, he'll want the Ganesh from off your neck.
You're a sensitive man with the sense of a Sanskrit
Rock. Please shut up when I talk.
You think these feathers run cheap?
Your pockets better run deep.
I gotta look like Hiawatha when I do my hatha,
I'm a yoga bitch I get down for my crown [7th] chakra.

Chorus

...is that your karma? Nice...

Every hombre and muchacho knows, yoga bitches are the top notch hoes...

When I say om, you say shanti. Om, shanti, om, shanti

I'm a yoga bitch. I'm a yoga bitch. I'm a yoga bitch. Don't hate.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• yoga bitch
• yoga chick
• yoga girl
• yoga dude
• yoga rap
• female rapper
• artist delia brown
• nelson marquez
• michael teisan
• ian congdon
• hippy
• venice
• santa monica
• mula banda
• vinyasa
• ashtanga
• iyengar
• camel pose
• anjalay mudra
• sun salutation
• bikram
• feather hair extensions
• lotus pose
• Hiphop

[orangencute]

"I have a groupon coupon for a couple's colonic"

"I don't give a shit, so ya trying to be ironic" ---LOL

[oneFREEworldNOW]

hahahahahahahaha.... thanks for that lovely vid! ...seems like you're having some practice... DON'T HATE :) :)

[chakraboosters]

Funny stuff -- and cool heart chakra tattoo at 3 mins. in -- thanks for the "exposure" -- get the tattoo at chakraboosters-dot-com :-)

[SatoriElohim]

FABBB!!!!! Engage the moola banddhhhaa......wooohoo!!! Thanks brilliant.. :-) :-) ;-)

[MilkMySilk]

it is absolutely such as Moscow-yoga, yeeeeah )))

[dbelsi]

So funny! 

[islandsq]

Once again.....Del Nel puts out another excellent comedic delight~~love it ladies! I don't know if people outside of Los Angeles understand how hilarious you're lyrics and video visuals are as far as cultural community accuracy, but i imagine it is at least a little funny to everyone. Certainly, those of us in this crazy city can crack up laughing indulging in both the Whole Foods: Revenge of the Black Prius & Yoga Bitch videos.Thanks for making me smile alot within four & half minutes! Namaste!