PRESIDENTIAL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH BY OUR NEW PRESIDENT!

It is not time for CHANGE! it is not time for LEADERSHIP! It is TIME FOR FUN and GREAT SEX! As President, Professor Albert will bring back true family values as everyone starts making families! Vowsa! Vowsa! "As your President, I promise you FREE Speech and FREE SEX!" It is time to go back to our true heritage and start having da vild and crazy times again. Everyvun is so politically correct, but my campaign is UNPOLITICALLY CORRECT and I am proud of it. Yes, I sleep vith callgirls, and it is fun. I take money from Special Interest Groups because it sure beats vurking! Who cares who is stooping who -if you waste your time doing dat, you vill never get any!" - Professor Albert - Professor Albert is a celebrity commentator and motivation music superstar. He has thrown his wig into the political arena because he is sick of politics and wants to have more sex! Like all Good Americans! He is not currently dating Jessica Alba, or Paris Hilton, although he has had them in the sack. He has also dated Eva Longoria, Eva Mendes, Teri Hatcher, Diane Lane, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Rihanna, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Gwen Stefani, and The beautiful Jessica Simpson, not to mention OPRAH. Also, he is said to be the father of Jessica Alba's unborn child. He has also been linked to Julia Roberts, Kate Moss, Keira Knightly, Penelope Cruz, although he swears he only made it to first base. The Step Brother of Marlon Brando and Johnny Depp, Professor Albert was just recently voted as THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE! For more info on Professor Albert, check out his celebrity commentary at YouTube channel PROFESSORALBERT or check out his website at www.professoralbert.com.

Category:

News & Politics

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