WHY DRAGONITE FAILS AT LIFE

TL;DR: "In case you were wondering, this happened because the first gen AI always used a super-effective attack if it had one, regardless of whether it did damage or not. Zubat is Poison type, Agility is Psychic type, thus the Agility spam.

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. The other half is fighting against a really crappy AI." ~ uberpwnage13

People please tell me if this is good enough so I know whether to delete my obnoxiously long old info or not. :D

Okay, okay, logging back in to this shitty account so I can clarify what this video's all about so all the dumb nubs will stop saying "O DIS FAGOT IS JUST PLAYN AGINST SUM OTHER GUY NAEMD DRAEK N HIS DRAGONITE OLNY NOES AGILITY"

This is a hack of Pokemon Red. It is called Pokemon Brown. This is NOT Green. Yes, the Dragonite sprite is from Green, but the guy who made the hack used sprites from all of the generation one games, Green and Japanese Red included. Please stop asking if or saying this is Green. Back to the subject of it being a hack, that also explains why the font and text boxes are different than usual, and why Lance is named Drake.

HOWEVER, just because this is a hack does NOT mean that the Dragonite was hacked to just use Agility. Honestly, go play Pokemon Red or Blue and take a low-leveled Zubat or Oddish or other susceptible to Psychic type Pokemon through the Elite Four and pit it against Lance's Dragonite. It won't work EVERY time I'm sure, but eventually, you'll get his Dragonite to do nothing but use Agility.

Why does this happen? Because the AI in the generation one games had the same thought processing power as whoever decided to push Hornswaggle as the WWE's top face the past couple years. It sees that Zubat is a Poison type, which is susceptible to Dragonite's Agility attack, which for whatever unfathomable reason is a Psychic type attack. It therefore decides "PSYCHIC SUPAR EFFECTIVE GOGOGO" without checking if it does any damage, and since the CPU trainers had infinite PP in generation one for all moves, it goes on an infinite loop of trying to KO poor little Zuey with a Super Effective move that only damages Zubat emotionally as he is now Ganondorf fighting Sonic The Hedgehog who is wearing a Bunny Hood and has both Shadow and a slowdown clock in his favor. But unfortunately for Sonic, it's a stamina match, he has a permanent flower on his head, and his side taunt is undamaging, but he just can't stop using it because the opportunity to use it repeatedly in such a situation is just too much for him to pass up.

Or something along those lines. To sum it up, this video is nothing more than a demonstration of a programming glitch portrayed in a humorous manner.

Oh, and this video isn't bashing Dragonite. Cripes people, some of you get so defensive over a fictional fat dragon. It's fucking hilarious. Getting death threats for "bashing" a chubby derp dragon has got to be the best thing I've ever accomplished with this account. :D (But seriously, I don't hate Dragonite, normal Dragonite fans who actually read this, so chill, please? D:)

Anyways, I hope at least most of you enjoy this video for what it is and don't just overanalyze the crap out of it. Really, I recorded this simply so people could see a pitiful level three Zubat schooling a level sixty-six Dragonite. I didn't even realize it was a programming glitch at first, I just thought it was funny and would make a good video. That's all. :|

Anyway, sorry for this incredibly long-winded speech that takes more time to read than it takes to watch the video. Kudos and thanks to you if you actually took the time to read all this, and regardless if you choose to believe me or not, I hope you all enjoy this dumb little video! :D

Category:

Gaming

Tags:

• WHY
• DRAGONITE
• FAILS
• AT
• LIFE
• Programming
• Glitch
• Pokemon
• Red
• Brown
• Zubat
• Is
• Uber
• And
• Also
• Captain
• Falcon
• In
• Disguise

[RealSolidSalamander]

That's one less blowjob.

[Pok3fan1995]

Dragonite: gotta go fast! Gotta go faster! Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!

[RealSolidSalamander]

Wait, I realized. The Dragonite was obviously used by Chris-Chan, thinking he could have something that isn't his hand touch his dick.

It didn't end well.

[RealSolidSalamander]

@MrL4mppu Close. With 1 you get your cock sucked once an hour. With 2, twice an hour. 3, three times an hour. To quote the video, THAT'S ONE FOR EVERY DRAGONITE!

[MrL4mppu]

@RealSolidSalamander 3 less. It's 3 blowjobs per dragonite.

[503whys0s3ri0us]

that dragonite has the DERPIEST face ever

[ZorotheGallade]

In Gen 4 there was a Move Tutor that could teach, among others, Ice Punch to any Pokèmon with hands. Yup, you can punch the sxxt out of Dragonites.

[GSSAGE7]

Actually, this just shows how awesome Crobat is. It's so awesome, it makes winners even before it exists.

[RyuuFireStorm]

It's not the dragonite's fault. It's the trainer's.

[LibraGirl101]

@AsilaPiscu Actually, only fire storm (as far as I know) isn't a move. Anyway,this is just lol. I wonder how much Zubat would level up after this?

[AsilaPiscu]

@WrinryRockBellFMA In yellow it has only offensive moves. Hyper Beam, thunder, blizzard, fire storm (sorry, I don´t know the english names)