Saying No

http://purewhitewave.org
http://facebook.com/purewhitewave
http://twitter.com/thelittledeath

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Jen
• Jenny
• Jenzatron
• Jennifer
• standing your ground
• Guilt
• Blog
• VLog

[ImperfectPictureee]

I'm just like this.

[downwithborgs]

I so know how you feel. Its taken me years to stand up for myself. I am getting better about it in my " older" age. Still I have my moments where I cave in even though I didnt want to. But yeah, I do see getting older as a blessing sometimes, I can look at a situation and say eh I don't care what you think, I am going to tell you NO. Confrontation is not my thing either although, again, I am getting better about being upfront why I don't like the way someone is treating me. Miss your vids!

[shadesofgreyxx]

I think many of us can relate. I hate inconveniencing people, or being a burden, so i often will say yes as well. I don't have much wisdom to share on the matter, but i think a lot of it depends on the circumstances. Theirs no problem with saying yes to a lot of things, but when its infringing on something you feel strongly about or really not in line with your priorities then thats something you have to consider.

[WhatsernameRQ]

wow I can relate so much to this!

[dizzyisme]

Crying on your birthday is the worst. It happened to me in February when I turned 16. It was pretty much because my parents are fucking assholes who spent the entire afternoon screaming, cursing at each other, slamming doors and being generally self-centered. It's like, they couldn't humor me for one day and pretend that they don't hate each other. So I basically cried all night and wished in vain that they would get a divorce. A wish I've been making for like 10 years. Wow, this got depressing.

[iheartm20]

Plus: Happy birthday! It's too bad your day was marred by an unpleasant event. I suggest you help yourself to another birthday in its place so it can be all yours and all great :) We all deserve our birthday spoils!

[iheartm20]

I totally understand where you're coming from. I also wanted to add to the part where you said it's easier to defend yourself when friends or others are around, or especially when they're involved. I am the same way & think it's for the same reason I have trouble saying no myself: because I find I'm more willing to sacrifice my time, energy, $, etc. for others instead of myself. Defending friends is easier for me because I'm doing it for them, not for myself, if that makes sense.

[gjones1986]

The only thing I'd say is that for the people that willingly take advantage, don't deserve your guilt for saying no.

[shyviolet11]

I wonder if part of it is based in gender roles, since (in my experience) most of the people afflicted with such guilt over saying "No" are women. We're socialized and raised to be agreeable and sweet and accommodating. I'm a couple months away from 30 and I have the same problem. So not much advice here, but happy belated birthday. :) I hope this year rocks for you.

[Rohpink]

Hey Jen I'm finishing in 1 and a half monts my first tear of My fine Arts college I know its the bet here but I have so many dhoubt some people alreadt gave up I guess the fear of failing as a curador and a artist cares, could make a video encouraging us ?