How Not To Attend a Passover Seder

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It's one of the rituals of spring if you have a lot of Jewish friends: the annual seder invitation. Here's what not to do if you want to keep that friendship alive.

To complete this How-To you will need:

An unsuitable gift for the hosts
Inappropriate clothing
Cross necklace or other symbol of non-Jewish faith
Note of apology
Loaf of bread
Reading material

Step 1: Don't arrive late

Don't arrive late. This is more than a dinner party—it's a religious celebration with a sequence of rituals.

Step 2: Don't bring a non-kosher gift

Don't bring a non-kosher gift for your hosts.

Step 3: Don't wear inappropriate clothing

Don't wear inappropriate clothing or anything you wouldn't wear to a religious celebration in your own home.

Step 4: Don't eat food before blessings

Don't eat any food before the ritual blessings are offered and your hosts have begun to eat.

Step 5: Don't bring your own reading material

Don't bring your own reading material in case you get bored.

Step 6: Don't refill your glass of wine

Don't refill your glass of wine other than at the specified moments.

Step 7: Don't announce extra cup

Don't announce that your host has mistakenly set an extra cup at the table.

Step 8: Don't ask hosts to watch "The Passion of Christ"

Passover may be about community, but don't ask your hosts if they want to watch The Passion of the Christ with you next weekend.

Step 9: Don't join in on Exodus story

Don't join in on the retelling of the Exodus story unless someone asks you to read.

Step 10: Send a note of apology

If you've ignored any of these rules, DO send a note of apology.

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• how-to
• seder
• passover
• judaism
• ritual
• dinner

[ozfizann]

This is so funny! I was rotfl watching it! also: avoid inviting mel gibson to your seder.

[DThor53]

How they are making fun of the Passover celebrated by Hebrews is very unwise.God will bless those who bless Israel and curse those who curse Israel.

[Hayastantzi92]

What the shmuck XD

[maurithechef]

Why does any 'Jewish subject matter', no matter how light-hearted, descend into discussions about Israel, Holocaust, Jews doing ill..., etc.?

People say Anti-Semitism doesn't exist anymore? hmm...

Get a life...I love mine! So sorry you don't :(

B"H

[Awaketonightanna]

Guys! This isn't a chat-table. PM!

[bilalha123]

@Herb615 Looks like debating with you will get me nowhere, you have a false sense of reality, much like a small child. Do some research if you have questions, I can't be bothered anymore..

[Herb615]

@bilalha123

forgiveness will work anywhere. Forgiveness worked during South Africa's Apartheid. And how is Israel aparthied?

[bilalha123]

@Herb615

So you expect people who kill innocent men, women, and children without a second thought to respond to someone asking "Why are you killing and stealing my land?"

Obviously not.

You're obviously a good person, but the majority of the people involved in the situation aren't.

You have to adapt to the circumstances shown, the same theory of forgiveness may work for small situations, but in times of war and apartheid, it won't work.

[Herb615]

@bilalha123

if you did that i'll forgive you but if you keep doing it then I'll retaliate but in a positive way. Like hold your fist, throw you down and ask why are you hitting me.

[bilalha123]

@Herb615 By your logic, I could punch you in the face, and you wouldn't retaliate, you'd just forgive me? Even if I continued to do so until you died? I know that this is an extreme example, but maybe it'll help you see my point of view.

[bilalha123]

@Herb615 Protesting makes no difference whatsoever, especially when Israeli soldiers have killed innocent protestors numerous times. I'm not saying it's right for Palestine to react the way they are, but it's the only viable option. I'm saying htat your idea of forgiveness is an extreme form, and truly believing that that's the acutal concept of forgiveness makes you seem like you're mentally unstable.