Inside Ursula Hitler's Head 45: Invasion of the Posh Spice Zombies, pt. 7

(Click MORE INFO for transcript.)

Narrator: With each day, with each hour, the plague of Posh Spice zombies spread farther across the Internet.

Sweetie: Hi, folks. I'm freaking exhausted. I've been on the run from the Posh Spice zombies for days. It's getting pretty grim out there. For all I know, I could be the only cartoon character left on Xtranormal who hasn't been infected with the Posh Spice virus. The zombies are everywhere. Billions of under-fed, middle-aged ladies with bad highlights, all dressed like Beverly Hills teenagers and hollering about (imitating Posh's accent) "gurl pow-ah"... The horror, the horror. I've been hiding in this office for half an hour, but I know it's only a matter of time until they find me. And when they do, they'll turn me into one of them. I'm too tired to run anymore. I'm gonna try to reach Ursula one more time... Sweetie calling Ursula. Please, please, please just answer me, already.

(With a magical chime sound, a mysterious, Asian(?) lady in a schoolteacher-ish outfit appears, seated opposite Sweetie.)

Ursula Hitler: (For indeed, it is she.) Hello, Sweetie.

Sweetie: Jesus Huckleberry Christ with turkey sausage and biscuits! Who the crap are you?

Ursula: I'm a cartoon representation of your creator, Ursula Hitler. (Waves to audience.) Hi, folks... Our phone conversations are kind of boring to watch, so as an experiment I'm inserting this version of myself into the narrative.

Sweetie: So in real life, you look like Lucy Liu dressed up like a librarian?

Ursula: Sadly, no. This was just the Xtranormal character that looked the most like me. Listen, I can't stay for long. I'm really busy right now.

Sweetie: Busy?! You've had me on the run from the Posh Spice Zombies for days!

Ursula: Yeah, sorry. This storyline has been pretty stupid. I've been trying to find a job, and I've been really depressed. I'm really not at my best.

Sweetie: I don't wanna hear about your problems! Mr. Meany is lost out there someplace, and I've been scared out of my wits!

Ursula: If I was gonna do it over again, I would definitely leave out the part about how the Posh Spices spread the virus by showing you their panties. It seemed funny when I thought of it, and by the time I realized it was a terrible idea it was too late. I was stuck with it. Frankly this whole thing feels really self-indulgent. I mean, who even cares about Posh Spice anymore?

Sweetie: Well, I sure care about her right now, because there are a billion of her out there, and any second they're gonna bust down that door!

Ursula: To be honest, I guess I was sort of pandering. The episodes with gender transformation scenes get so many more views, it's crazy. I'll get like forty-five views for a regular episode, then I do one with a gender change and I get hundreds or even thousands of hits! It sort of makes me feel like that's all people care about, like the other stuff I try to do doesn't matter.

Sweetie: Look, I don't have time for your metafictional whining. Are you going to tell me how to beat these bitches, or am I doomed to turn into one and spend the rest of my life tottering around on Prada heels, shouting "zigga-zigga" at strangers?

Ursula: You know I can't just tell you how to defeat the Posh Spice zombies. But I can give you a clue...

Sweetie: Oh, no! You and your freaking clues!

Ursula: Listen, Sweetie... To defeat them, you must find the Anti-Posh.

Sweetie: You have got to be kidding me. The Anti-Posh?

Ursula: Yes. Think hard. It'll come to you. Now I must be going. Good luck.

(She vanishes.)

Sweetie: No, wait! God damn it. The Anti-Posh? What the hell does that mean?

(There is a crashing sound, and the Posh Spice Zombies break in, chanting "zigga-zigga" and "girl power.")

Sweetie: Great. Now the fucking zombies have found me. (To camera.) Thanks for nothing, bitch.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• xtranormal
• ursula
• hitler
• sweetie
• meany
• sweety
• meanie
• tranny
• TG
• TF
• transformation
• zombies
• mind
• control
• Posh
• Spice
• panties
• parody
• transgender
• M2F
• bimboification

[aaaaicit2]

Sweety is hanging there, suspended, not knowing where Mr. Meanie is and not able to figure out what the anti-posh is yet...Poor Sweety...

[MsUrsulaHitler]

I actually have the concluding chapter done, but I won't be uploading it for a day or so. I want people to have a chance to see THIS chapter first! The last part is pretty long, it turned into this big epic.

[MsUrsulaHitler]

Oh, darn... I thought you were replying to the NEW chapter... There's a new one up, now.

[ciphergoth]

Hey, don't worry and don't apologise. You're having fun, we're having fun, it's all good!

[MsUrsulaHitler]

I do feel some actual angst about it, but I was trying to make a joke of it... You know, the idea that Sweetie would be scared about getting killed by zombies and I just keep going on about my story problems.

[Jayday12345678910]

y does sewwty pronuce girl power: gurl pow-ah

[MsUrsulaHitler]

She's imitating Posh's English accent.

[peaceandparty]

great stuff well done

great points

[Nyhee7]

Hello. I just emailed adult swim. Maybe they will listen, maybe not. Who knows? I went through the whole series. Wow, incredibly funny. I like the psychology in it as well. Good luck. :)

[Nyhee7]

your videos are taking up my time, I am addicted, I can not stop watching them. I saw one, then went to the beginning. If I ever meet you, I don't which I want to do, shake your hand or ... no, just kidding. Love your sense of humor. This should be on adult swim. I will send them an email, who knows, maybe they will want to hire you. Maybe they will never read the email. But I'll try.

[haydensroomtest]

did u get into private beta of xtranormal?

[haydensroomtest]

did u put all those posh spice zmobie people in one place using the private beta? did u get into private beta on xtranormal????????????