"Poor Unfortunate Souls" sung by Pat Carroll
- But I... Come on
- This way
- Come in, come in, my child. We mustn't lurk in doorways. It's rude! One might question your upbringing. Now, then, you're here, because you have a thing for this human, this prince fellow. Not that I blame you. He is quite a catch, isn't he? Well, angelfish, the solution to your problem is simple. The only way to get what you want is to become a human yourself
- Can you do that?
- My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for. To help unfortunate merfolk, like yourself, poor souls with no one else to turn to
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light and made a switch
True? Yes
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf
of the miserable, lonely and depressed
Pathetic
Poor unfortunate souls
in pain, in need
This one longing to be thinner
That one wants to get the girl
And do I help them? Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls
So sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron
crying "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them? Yes, I do
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint,
but on the whole I've been a saint
to those poor unfortunate souls
Now, here's the deal. I will make you a potion that will turn you into a human for three days. Got that? Three days! Now listen, this is important. Before the sun sets on the third day you've got to get dear old princie to fall in love with you. That is, he's got to kiss you. Not just any kiss, the kiss of true love. If he does kiss you before the sun sets on the third day you'll remain human permanently. But if he doesn't you'll turn back into a mermaid and... you belong to me
- No, Ariel!
- Have we got a deal?
- If I become human, I'll never be with my father or sisters again!
- That's right. But you'll have your man. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven't discussed the subject of payment. You can't get something for nothing, you know
- But I don't have any...
- I'm not asking much. Just a token really, a trifle. You'll never even miss it. What I want from you is... your voice
- My voice?
- You've got it, sweetcakes. No more talking, singing. Zip
- But without my voice how can I...
- You'll have your looks, your pretty face. And don't underestimate the importance of body language
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes, on land it's much preferred
for ladies not to say a word
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentlemen avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn
on a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue, who gets her man
Come on, you, poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead! Make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much. Just your voice
You, poor unfortunate soul
It's sad, but true
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath, and go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfotunate soul
Beluga, Sevruga. Come winds of the Caspian Sea
Larengix, Glaucitus, Et max Laryngitus
La voce to me
Now sing!... Keep singing!
