Arranged Marriage - clip from the film Outsourced

This is a clip from the 2006 film 'Outsourced'. While not surprising that the issue of arranged marriage was discussed in the movie, i do find it remarkable that it was a woman taking the role.

A few things to point out in this 1:11 minute dialogue:

Ill Learn to Love him

First comes marriage then comes love, or so the theory goes. However, in many Indian arranged marriages, the love never manifests. When families are shopping for a potential mate astrological charts are compared in an effort to find the most suitable match. If the stars line up favorably (along with other factors) an astrologically auspicious wedding date is set. A womans worth as a wife and daughter-in-law is oftentimes related to the amount of material wealth she brings into the marriage, followed by her bearing male heirs.

What about the Right to Choose for Yourself?

Choosing ones own marriage partner is rarely given or taken in India. It is felt that ones parents know best, but there are deeper factors at play economic, social (casteism), political. Many are promised to another family in marriage as children (as is portrayed here, at the age of four). And as consumerism grows in modernizing India, a sizeable dowry is a must. Cash, cars, homes, gold, appliances...

I just cant believe that someone as strong, and smart as opinioned as you would settle for arranged marriage.

The character in the film is strong, smart and opinionated, but she is still under the control of her culture and family. Ive had this discussion with many men and women in India. The majority truly believe that the person they are fated to spend their life with is best left to their familys discretion.

Some people would say Americas fifty percent Divorce rate is Crazy

There is a myth that arranged marriages are so successful that divorce is virtually non-existent in India. In fact, it is a phenomenon that is growing, especially in the cities. However, considering that adults are not allowed free choice in marrying, how would they be allowed to divorce?

Will you Tell Ashok about Us?

I purposefully cut the dialogue at that question because it was a naïve one. Anyone with a cursory knowledge of India and more importantly, Indian women, would know the answer to that. For an Indian woman to tell her betrothed that she had an illicit affair with another man would most likely prove disastrous of even dangerous. Women are fully expected to come into the marriage virginally pure.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• arranged marriage
• astrology
• casteism
• dowry divorce
• india
• outsourced
• freedom of choice

[tinkujia]

It feels so unreal. No way an urban Indian (thats what the girl is depicted as) girl is married at age of 4 in this age!

Seems as a gimmick to make money out of an age old stereotype.

[timecamppf]

@peacerebelgirl Also, parents DO take into account the fact that their children must have a good match. Not astrologically speaking, but also in temperament, common goals, and interests. It is never just about money, or status, or a job.

And then again, I know of a lot more people divorcing due to the fact that the spouse THEY chose was not "the person they thought they were". So both kinds of marriage have their drawbacks and their good sides.

[CaligirlSofia]

@tinkujia she said engaged, in some small villages this does happen also children from 8-13 years of age are married by their parents, although these are small villages that do not follow the law

[trekkicat]

@timecamppf

divorcing is expensive, so of course not many can afford it. you were forced into this bond. I rather face my fate alone than being with a man I never cared about

[Dlovely291]

Don't listen to those types of people Indian Ladies!!! Doing things the traditiional way in these times shows that you are better than what the world wants you to believe is is better right now!!! True, if you aren't being selfish, you can develop EVERLASTING RESPECT & REAL LOVE!!!

[seovideo24]

in many ways while we may view arranged marriages as a primitive situation and "we marry out of love" if the marriage works , and its good for the children what is the issue

True there are some arranged marriages where it does not "work out" , the parties stay together "for the kids" and for the most part blatantly hate each other.

This is true - yet it happens in western style marriages as well

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes If it wasn't for the Indian Decimal System and Arabic Algebra, with your limited Roman Numerals and primitive Abacus, you'd still be needing to reach University level to do simple multiplications...

And while the Germanic tribes were living like Primitive Hunter Gatherers our Ancestors were Developping the Third Oldest and First Urban Civilisation on Earth that today spans 5 Millenia...

Brits did very well LATER on, but you don't have any legitimacy to look down on us

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes "yield profits"??...You mean debt?

If the current trend continues, after the Greeks, The Portuguese, The Spaniards and now the Italians, you'll soon be working for the Chinese..

Be as insulting as you wish, you'll live long enough to see Asia rise and thrive...

Actually from the beginning, I'm not even sure you're British

You just seem to be a troll...from "Bandalabad" I guess?

I don't wish the West harm, on the contrary, but its Dominance is over

You just sit and watch

[Varoonmg]

@TheSkirmishes You should probably take a crash course in History, not only on Indian History but on that of Britain, that might help avoid your idiotic comments

But I'm pretty sure, you know you aren't making sense, you're just a dishonest troll who speaks either out of ignorance or speaks nonsense knowing very well how unfounded your arguments are, just to annoy others

Don't worry about the Olympics, who would have thought that China would beat the US barely twenty years ago

Things change

[Sancheez12]

This is true love it must suck because she falls in love with him but can't stay with him makes u think they have to get married to some one n u fall in love but can't do that to your culture

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg we still by renaissance...ur country had one gupta period and the only fucking thing you got from that era is kamasutra..indeed..wait a minute are you saying..since majority of poor dear holly cow india doesnt have anything for prime time..so they make use of kamasutra and r no1 in population olympics...lol

however in the real one they are just zero...that too ur invention aint it?

[TheSkirmishes]

@Varoonmg dude we give it away for peanuts and bask on yielded profit....and you "educated" people fall for it and thats the value of asian counterparts.....the same imperial style "work for us and we will make u rich"