How To Get Money Out Of Your Parents

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So it's one month into the school year and you've already blown through the entire semester's allowance. You're gonna need a good strategy.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Solvent parents
Acting skills
Willingness to bend the truth

Step 1: Don't call them

Don't call them—wait for them to phone. When they complain that they never hear from you, tell them calls cost money.

Tip: Crunch some paper into the phone as you're chatting. When asked, say you're rolling pennies so you can buy dinner.

Step 2: Sound weak

Next time they call, sound weak. When they show concern, tell them you're just a little tired from donating plasma for cash three times this week.

Tip: If you're a guy, add that you're looking into the more profitable sperm donation. Girls, say, "Hey, did you guys know I could get $5,000 for my eggs?"

Step 3: Ask for canned goods

Tell your mom you'd love her to send some of her homemade brownies—then ask if she could toss in a few canned goods as well.

Step 4: Too broke to come home

Gently break it to them that you won't be coming home for the holidays after all. When pushed, sheepishly admit you don't have the money.

Step 5: Have response ready

Have a good response ready when they ask what happened to all your money, like, "I've been eating out a lot to avoid the E. coli they keep finding in the cafeteria food."

Step 6: Reinforce good behavior

When they insist on replenishing your account, reinforce this good behavior by telling them they are the best parents in the whole wide world.

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Category:

Howto & Style

Tags:

• broke
• career
• college
• diy
• do
• essential
• get
• instructional
• it
• learn
• money
• mooch
• skills
• tips
• to
• tutorial
• university
• yourself

[davee232]

This video is most popular with:

Female 13-17

Male 13-17

Male 45-54 <<<<<Time to get a job guys ;P

[Danyelle2345]

Step 1: Go up to your dad

Step 2: Ask for some money

Step 3: Receive cash

did you know that dads are fuckin awesome?

[98avi]

@davee232 they could be parents watching this video

[lartkrin]

a girl's egg's can sell for 5000??????????????????????

im so totally visiting my sister this weekend :3 she wont know what hit her...

[glitterprincess8896]

@Esorassen haha that's not fucked up or anything..

[Esorassen]

if you're a girl get your dad drunk and seduce him. then threaten to tell your mother unless he gives you money

[funhippo132]

@Danyelle2345 Yes..Yes they are!

[thrufireandflame]

This video should be renamed as "How to be a Cunt and Mooch off Your Parents". How is jacking off for money and been tired supposed to make them feel sorry for you?!

[MrUlug89]

I spend 287$ per year

[ChildsViewReviews]

I'm 9 and wanted to buy Mario Galaxy 2 I don't think that would work.

[CrossfireHaxor]

or steal LOL

[99hockeynhl]

ewwwww sperm looks gross